Smokeshow Dakota Johnson reveals she loathes men who wear slaps in public

"If you see one... run."

Of all the nepo babies in the land, the fairest, it could be argued, is Dakota Johnson. The 36-year-old daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith made her acting debut at ten, appearing in her step-father Antonio Bandaras’ film Crazy in Alabama. Her career a rocket to the moon ever since.

Johnson has had star turns in the Fifty Shades franchise, Cha Cha Real Smooth, Madame Webb plus many others. She is also freshly single after being tied to Coldplay’s Chris Martin for almost a decade.

Bachelors everywhere smacking gums but surf bachelors might be at a distinct disadvantage.

Johnson, you see, hates men who wear slippahs in public. Speaking to German Vogue, the global ambassador for Valentino was asked whether she has any red flags when it comes to men in her bachelorette-hood.

“Men who wear flip-flops in public,” she declared, adding if any woman sees such a creature she should “run.”

Slaps are, of course, very much part of the male surf wardrobe. Any gathering of surf males will undoubtedly feature at least 40% of the crowd in thongs, be they Rainbow, Reef or Olukai. Surf males really go for the casual beachy vibe that says, “I have a little bit of bad taste and drink Corona beer.

I’ve got to say, I’m with Johnson, here, with one exception.

Dan Mann.

What a jandal-wearing hunk.