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Shaun Tomson (left) showing maximum arm.
Shaun Tomson (left) showing maximum arm.

Surfers rejoice after New York Times declares “smutty dressing is back”

A return to the golden age of surf fashion.

Surf fashion, as every surf industry enthusiast knows, is an ever-changing thing. It is sometimes en vogue for the hem of boardshort to touch below the knees, for example. Other times, any longer than lower-middle thigh is frowned upon. The best days, though, and universally agreed, were when boardshorts fell at the upper-middle thigh, t-shirts revealed every curve of torso and/or were not worn at all, all that skin out and proud.

Surfers Rejoice After New York Times Declares "Smutty Dressing Is Back" 3

Smut city.

You can understand the rejoicing, then, in Bondi and Bolsa Chica, Torquay and Topanga after The New York Times boldly declared “smutty dressing is back.” The conclusion reached after Gray Lady editors and writers attended Fashion Weeks in New York, Paris, Milan and London, carefully observing trends, taking notes on levels of provocation.

At the end, a return of smut with surfers, everywhere, sprinting to dusty drawers in order to dig out micro-Stubbies. Naughty Rabbit, as in Rabbit Bartholomew, certainly trending as must-wear costume this coming Halloween.

Surfers Rejoice After New York Times Declares "Smutty Dressing Is Back" 4

Smutty surfer was a long time coming, the very boxy skateboard silhouette absolutely dominating for the better part of a decade, but here we are again and not a moment too soon. But is surfing’s smut era your sartorial favorite or do you lean conservative, waxing nostalgic about the days when surf trunks and Scottish kilts were one in the same?

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13 Comments
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Alejandro Louro

Kanye west -> wetsuit fashion -> Bianca censori -> Smutty Surfer Sluts

channelbottom

People were in awe this morning as I wore a bright yellow G-banger.

Nonagon_Infinity

I got thick stumpy legs, mid cut makes it past the knee. Loose shirt for beer gut.

KRIS

… and I wrongly assumed fashion was making a u-turn for the ‘90s?
Over-sized silhouettes and graphics.
The big three seem intent on regurgitating said era…?
Personal care factor = 0!
Anything but fuckin’ UFC bogan / eshay / hoodlum braggadocio aesthetic!

Com Turren

so where are we all partying after Boardroom Show tomorrow? Tower 9?

Sean Connery

I would rather skip the showroom and go straight to Tower 9.

Com Turren

so would Otto, as I understand!

RS

Magnum P.I. is wondering why Rabbit’s shorts are so long.

Beef & Beer

The real reason for a return to short shorts and muscle shirts is simple.
Cost.
Skimpier clothing uses less material, which costs less to make (but sells for the same or more).
Possibly the only way the surf-adjacent ragtrade can become profitable enough to sponsor teams and contests again (or at least pay for the owners boats, cars, drugs, ex-wives, gambling, helicopters, hookers and houses etc)…

Sean Connery

This sounds very similar to what Lays potatoe chips and many others are doing. Less food, lots of air, same size bag, hike up the price. Supply chain issues blah blah blah.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

Not as impressive as measles making a comeback in the USA!

Ando

Anti-vaxxers unite!

Barrelled

Not sure if I’m old or Chad is old but, I had to look up what “smutty” meant. Turns out it’s exactly what I guessed, same as slutty.


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