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Cool princess (pictured).
Cool princess (pictured).

Single surfers with fairytale dreams line up to woo one of Europe’s surfing princesses

Not your grandfather's royals...

Ain’t it great to live in these times? What was, just a few decades ago, considered irrefutable, say boys are boys and girls are girls, has been utterly flipped. Now, if you can dream it, you can achieve it and, thus, hundreds of surfers across North and South America, Australia and the Pacific Islands are racing to update their manifestation boards with castles, balls, crowns and coronations.

Europe has a new brash batch of princesses, you see, who, according to the Daily Mail, “love surfing and partying.”

Not your grandfather’s royals.

Hereditary rules have been changed in the olde world to allow princesses to ascend to the throne, not just their brothers. Amongst those set to be queen, Princess Catharina-Amalia of the Netherlands, 21, Princess Elisabeth of Belgium, 23, Crown Princess Victoria of Sweden, 48, and Princess Leonor of Spain, 19.

Calling Griffin Colapinto!

Aside from a taste for surfing, the sovereigns enjoy tennis, sailing, playing the cello and waltzing. A majority have also served in their respective country’s military, adding a layer of toughness over that glitzy sheen.

But imagine, single surfer, that you were the one to win a hand in marriage. Not only would a gilded surfing life be yours (trips to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch in Lemoore etc.), but your children and children’s children could carry that torch (trips to Kelly Slater’s Slavepool in Abu Dhabi etc.) until revolution due massive inequity rips the continent apart and your children’s children’s children are sent to the guillotine.

Dream it.

Achieve it.

Which one will you attempt to woo?

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17 Comments
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snapper

I love Anne Hathaway…there I said it.

Happy Camper

GO DODGERS!!!

Sean Connery

Sign me up for one. I’m not picky. Tired of working and ready to be a stay at home dad with multiple nannies.

Happy Camper
notsurfingtoday

Cool if you’re down with inbred types

NEGATRON

Is there perhaps a more slightly mature Princess? say 95 or older?

Barrelled

Negs be giving a new meaning to the term cougar.

Dogsnuts

You want to have a heartoss the first time you slay them hey. Then hock half of the Crown Jewels and spend the rewards on therapy.
Xox

Happy Camper

I heard Sasha Jane is Queen of the Desert……and available.

NEGATRON

How do you hide your credit card transactions for Sasha’s only fans from your wife?

Happy Camper

I’d suggest don’t have a credit card.

I didn’t know you’re married, but just be honest with gal and let her know you’re into gay trans porn. Tell her: “the plumbers got a new favorite pipe snake”.
you never know, she might get into it with you and it could be an entire new sexual adventure for the two of you’s.

next question?

Barrelled

We are definitely reaching new levels of surf adjacency with this sharty. That said, Leonor of Spain has to win this one hands down (albeit a bit young). Catharina-Amalia is a bit chunky, Elisabeth is kinda fugly, and Victoria be having those crazy-eyes.
Leonor https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Catharina-Amalia https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Elisabeth https://uploads.disquscdn.c… Victoria https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Com Turren

no love for the thicc girls tho?

Barrelled

Sure, but they gotta have something to love. Big difference between just thick and hot-thicc. Victoria is probably more your type.

Com Turren

I’m a sucker for them crazy eyes!

RQ.

😐

Sit down to pee

Notice how close together the eyes are


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