Sandcastle artist kicked off San Diego beach after crafting offensive ode to Mark Twain

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."

Those who have visited San Diego as a tourist, or live locally, have certainly been to the iconic Hotel Del Coronado. Once the largest hotel in the world, The Del, as it is commonly called, swung its doors wide in 1888. Soon after its opening it was purchased by the sugar magnate John D. Spreckels, a surname semi-famous in our corner thanks to his grandson Bunker. It is a gorgeous building, anyhow, sitting right on the beach, and this is where our story begins.

For 20-years, or thereabouts, local Bill Pavlack has been making sandcastles out front of The Del, very intricate and often whimsical. He is known as The Sandcastle Man and is a beloved fixture.

Or, rather, was a beloved fixture for days ago, a manager at the hotel told him he was no longer permitted to build sandcastles and had to leave tout suite.

“I couldn’t believe it,” Pavlacka told The Coronado Times. “I was just thinking in my head, what is this about? I love doing my art. This is what I do. It’s fun and people appreciate it.”

What could cause such a vicious banning?

Apparently a Munch-esque skyline, he had recently crafted, sitting on a foundation featuring a Mark Twain quote that read, “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

“He told me this the final straw,” Pavlacka continued. “That this message was totally unacceptable. I thought Mark Twain was a loved American writer. I actually thought the quote was kind of funny. And they didn’t say that any hotel guests complained.”

Sandcastle Man was ordered up to the office for a “conversation.” According to Pavlack, he had been busted before for making a sandcastle which read “I love democracy” and another defending freedom of speech.

Twin horrors.

He was then accused to boozing, which he categorically denied.

Locals who enjoy the work are none too pleased.

Kimberly Weed shared, “Bill is hardworking and quiet and never have we ever seen him drinking. This is a huge loss for the people of San Diego, and everyone loves the Sandcastle Man. Bring him back and appreciate the joy it brings people from all over the world.”

Ken Fitzgerald added, “There is nothing controversial, much less offensive, about a quote from one of America’s greatest authors about the importance of truth and objective reality in our nation’s civic life. You should re-examine your corporate values, if they exist.”

Would you be offended if wandering by and reading Twain?

What about being forced to see someone else’s love of democracy?

While you’re here, did you know Twain was one of the world’s first surf journalists?

It’s true. Here is a passage from Roughing It.

In one place we came upon a large company of naked natives, of both sexes and all ages, amusing themselves with the national pastime of surf- bathing. Each heathen would paddle three or four hundred yards out to sea (taking a short board with him), then face the shore and wait for a particularly prodigious billow to come along; at the right moment he would fling his board upon its foamy crest and himself upon the board, and here he would come whizzing by like a bombshell! It did not seem that a lightning express-train could shoot along at a more hair-lifting speed. I tried surf-bathing once, subsequently, but made a failure of it. I got the board placed right, and at the right moment, too; but missed the connection myself. The board struck the shore in three-quarters of a second, without any cargo, and I struck the bottom about the same time, with a couple of barrels of water in me. None but natives ever master the art of surf-bathing thoroughly.