"Does he put his longboard on little sawhorses outside his Sprinter van too?"
The brief truce in observance of National Burrito Day was shattered, this morning, with surfers viciously tearing at each others’ throats once more. The firing of U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi, ongoing war in Iran, gas reaching $7 per gallon in California, a new mission to the moon all eclipsed, as topics to debate, by the viral image of Tiger Woods using a changing poncho.
The golf legend was snapped wearing the divisive garment after rolling his SUV and getting lit up with a DUI even though he was talking to President Donald J. Trump. Officers at the scene sharing that Woods “showed signs of impairment” and “refused a urinalysis test.”
In the back of the squad car, waiting for his trip to jail, Woods donned the poncho.
Surfers, eyes bloodshot and voices raw, really giving each other hell.
There are, of course, two passionate camps: Those who hate the changing poncho, finding it dumb and infantilizing, and those who love the changing poncho, thinking it evolved.
I, as previously shared, am decidedly anti-poncho. I hate them, in fact, along with rinse kits, little changing mats, miniature sawhorses on which to place longboard and all other accoutrement save surfboard, leash, wetsuit and towel.
Though must admit, have been lightly swayed by those who surf in freezing cold climates and share that the article is essential when fingers are numbed to oblivion.
Either way, Woods donned his changing poncho in southern Florida where it is hot year ’round. Any man who defends that, I take great issue with and if you are one of them, meet me below the line.
Surf ponchos suck.
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if one cannot manage to put a towel around one’s waist and tuck in one end for the time it takes to put on a wetsuit, please go play pickleball.
Wow, they are actually going to run in this slop. Why did they pass up a decent surf window during the morning of 4/1 again?
Tiger, looking like he’s in handcuffs at birth.
I’ve also heard he has a little steering wheel so he can drive with handcuffs 😵💫
Moring fellas they running today or what? I’m fucking hung as and need a couple of whatever Tigers having I reckon
Just got called on. This is gonna be a bloodbath
Can’t wait to see what Flick is wearing today. I’m guessing she’ll stay with the middle aged b-girl look.
I pray she’s gonna change into a studded black leather cat suit. Or latex.
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Live feed up an running bruz yeeeeeeeeeeeeew
Cunt looks likes hes ready to embrace junkie life & live in a box next to a dumpster. His dumpster & box would probably have a few upgrades & mod cons…
Both stylish, and practical
Nice friendship bracelets too
Might become a fashionable look this year…
Thought LOB got robbed against Herdy. Mateus has a little Kade Matson in his style.
Fuck man I just get soooooooooo frustrated watching LOB ay. Should easily be top 10 every year and somehow manages to always “lose” close heats!!!!
Agree. And a face like MR should add a half point to every score.
What do you do if your gifted a surf poncho by a regional surf legend? Asking for a friend.
Cue: “must not be much of a legend if he’s a softcock using ponchos”
still figuring out what to do with the kooky stuff my own damn family members get me:
”Did you ever frame that map of California surf spots I got you got you for X-Mas a few years back?”
“How’s the rinse kit working?”
“Did you ever put that front traction on any of your boards?”
“I heard there was a shark sighting in Newport last week—hopefully you’re wearing the Shark Banz!”
I won’t wear clothing with logos and I always get gifted “ cool” stuff that I give away
You need to sort out your loved ones as far as pressies go.
The mother in law and myself have a nice little system. She gives me cool water wax on my birthday in May ( late autumn just as the water first starts to chill ) and warm water wax at Chrissy as the water starts to heat up again.
I get what I want / need and she gets to be a good person without going through the drama of overthinking it.
You could set up a table at Doheny and sell all of it for a premium after you autograph each piece with Slater’s signature. Maybe tarzanthesurfman will throw in a few bucks if he’s out there riding his skateboard
We all have a kooky friend we can regift that crap to.
Think of it as a coverall. Leave it in the car to put over your clean clothes if you have to do some dirty, emergency maintenance like changing a tyre . It may even be helpful if the repair seems beyond your skill set as passing motorists will see you adorned in your poncho on the side of the road, assume you’re a hopeless clown and feel compelled to offer assistance.
Cut the hood off, sew up the neck hole and you’ve got a long towel.
I just walk home in me boardies or wetty
“Looked in my rear view mirror and suddenly realized I’m being chase by Vanessa Trump and the secret survice. She held a baseball bat and was waving it outside the window. Looked up and BOOM! So I had to call her Dad to tell on her to leave me alone. Tell her she can have back her poncho and that X-dressing silicone breast chest she gave me.”
Like cycling, does average joe need all the bells and whistles?
I get by with as little as possible.
Just remember friends don’t let friends wear lycra if they don’t race
I used to wear lycra shorts under normal shorts because of the chafe factor.
I raced road for many years so I too was a lycra boy. Now I only ride mtn so I have a chamois insert for under normal shorts.
The title of this story if BG were actually reporting facts instead of sensationalistic clickbait:
‘Surfers couldn’t care less about Tiger Woods’
disagree
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Mikey is a cool dude
first surfboard was from Froghouse. Still have it, too heavy to ride it.
My mate Jaz took me there when I visited.
Cool shop.
How many on this thread have looked like Tiger at some point in their lives?
I’d rather not say. Or tell how many times.
Negs might ban you!
5 PM contest start time yesterday? Brutal.
Oh boy, Tiger was high high high. I know that look. I myself went deep down the opioid pain pill hole for a couple years. I’ve seen to many pics and vids of myself to know that is not Tiger in a poncho. He’s channeling his inner Beavis.
A couple oxys, a 5mg Valium and two IPA’s was my thing for a while there. Had the scripts legally from my Dr. Never really overdid it and never drove fucked up like Tiger woods though.
Youre an SF stereotype
It was all legal!
Exactly!!
California sober originated NorCal, to be certain
So many youngsters on BG! I’m old enough and dumb enough to remember driving on the perfect mixture of ludes, Little Kings and a bump or two.
BUT did you ever smoke a lude out of a bong?
Those were before my time
You missed nothing but the ’81 Rush Moving Pictures show was interesting on them and Sonja kept me out of trouble that night
I think I remember one of the guys I used to surf with talk about taking some from his parents in high school in the early eighties. I was a late bloomer though when I came to being in an altered state of consciousness. Only thing I did in high school was smoke weed and drink beer.
It was an absolutely dumb drug, but it seemed like the cool thing to do at the time.
I liked the meme where post crash fiddy parts Black was gedding tased whilst Fipty parts was gedding arrested. Big love ! Drunk as hell!
Xox
I’ve always seen a lot of parallels between Woods and Slater. In fact Slater’s approach to fitness is very similar to Tiger. Both had major unexpected wins late in their careers (Woods 2019 masters win), though Slater edges him out because his lacked precedence.
They also – at least on a surface pop psychology level – seem to have daddy issues. They also both do not go by their given first names.
Also both are clinically insane and deeply unhappy people.
Yes I think that’s a common theme with people like that. It’s like the practice and effort required to do very repetitive tasks to keep getting slightly better that would drive other people crazy is an improvement over them just existing like a normal person.
I think they get absorbed in a pursuit to distract themselves from inner trauma
Probably didn’t help Tiger none witnessing his dad take loose ladies into the trailer for a “if it’s rocking don’t come a knocking” driving range workouts when Tiger was really young.
Obsessions are rarely fun
Never worn a changing poncho and only wash my surf towel once it starts getting stiff.
so you’re saying that when you’re changing under your surf towel and a hot babe walks by…….it’s time to wash your towel?