Heads will certainly roll.
Surfers around the world were left scratching their heads in utter confusion after mega-baggy jean shorts, or jorts, were left off the list of “6 surfer-bro style moves” that should be adopted by men in the know. The looks all came from The Society Archive’s debut ready-to-wear collection that premiered at New York Fashion Week this past Sunday. GQ’s Gerald Ortiz described vibe as a blending of “beach culture with Napoleonic flourishes” and “leaves no doubt about who the Society guy is: a hot jock with an appetite for the beach, vintage flannels, and fancy nights out.”
Meow.
The pieces that should be adopted are:
- Silk boardshorts done up classically with a lace-up fly and velcro waist adjusters.
- Seashell-strewn bags and caps, self-explanatorily festooned with puka shells.
- Plaid, though I don’t know where plaid has been a surfer staple outside of the Pac Northwest.
- Fancy drawstring bags, which are, again, a bit of a question as to how they relate to surfers.
- Sarongs and beach towels.
- Tailoring, which is decidedly not typical surf.
In any case, and as mentioned, the shock was the lack of jorts even after World Surf League number two commentator Kaipo Guerrero debuted his collection at the recently-wrapped Lexus Trestles Pro. There was enough denim aboard to handcraft matching outfits for Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears though Guerrero wore the folds effortlessly, keeping up heat strategy discussions with ease.
The 58-year-old is, of course, not stranger to being a style icon, having once dated Madonna, which makes GQ’s blunder that much more difficult to understand. A silver lining for us surfers bros, though. The male fashion world will soon realize the error of its ways and the price of mega-baggy jorts will skyrocket. You have a fine opportunity to stock up, before that happens.