Pickled surfers go wobbly-knee’d over new beer keg surfboard

"It’s the craziest board I’ve ever surfed — definitely one I’ll never forget."

And now all that is left is for pigs to fly and for hell to freeze over. But you certainly know of, and have likely used, the old phrase “…when kegs turn into surfboards” as a rejoinder to something deemed thoroughly impossible. “The United States will have a third political party when kegs turn into surfboards,” for example.

Well, the thoroughly impossible has just become reality thanks to Gage Roads Beer and Phantom Surfboards. The “Beer Board,” as it is being called, is, according to the Australian brewer, “Inspired by the iconic Greenough Spoon which was first created back in the 60’s, the board features a food safe chamber carved out the centre and sealed to keep the beer fresh and ready to drink. The beer can be accessed by a removable tap. There is also an additional valve which allows the beer and chamber to be pressurised.”

It holds 10 liters of beer, just over 2.5 gallons, with Gage Roads recommending its Single Fin Summer Ale.

Brendan ‘Margo’ Margieson and Jack Robinson, part owners of Gage Roads, were very excited by the project, Robinson declaring, “Pretty cool to be the first person to ever ride this thing. When I first saw the board, I wasn’t sure how it would go, it’s a pretty crazy idea but it was such a fun one to ride. It had plenty of paddle power. I mean, we literally filled a board with 10 litres of Gage Roads Single Fin beer inside it and somehow it actually worked! Once I was up though, it didn’t feel overly big or hard to move – Chris (the shaper) did an awesome job. It did also feel crazy that I could see through the bottom of the board, I loved that. I’ve never been able to see through to the bottom of the ocean before which was cool. It’s the craziest board I’ve ever surfed — definitely one I’ll never forget.”

Though imagine rocking up to your local, Beer Board tucked under arm, Reef’s signature Mick Fanning beer bottle opening sandals on feet, smile on face.

The coolest surfer to ever live.