Go-for-broke Bakersfield surfer Dane Reynolds releases latest riposte to the milquetoast horror of the WSL’s “pandering bullshit that’s ruining surfing!”
The famous daddy-body is heavy yet when he surfs he becomes like a cowboy of the Westerns: ready to fire his guns at the drop of a hat…
Brother of US Olympian John John Florence shucks “Jan Brady” middle sibling curse with hall of fame “mutant” session at the Mexican Pipeline!
“Needless to say things got a little crazy LOL!”
Puerto Rico’s Dylan Graves cements Guinness World Record claim for most turns on a wave with groundbreaking documentary on 37-mile long Sumatran phenomenon!
“You are the greatest surfing ambassador in modern times!”
Surf greats rush to praise Prince Harry lookalike after “loony” barrel ride many are calling best wave ever ridden! “I couldn’t even speak when I kicked out!”
And see Mark Healey, John John, Peter Mel etc etc behaving like young boys forced into service by a stronger man.
Aussie surf stars reveal boogie board skills in bloody showdown with BIPOC “Queen of Crazy” Mason Ho, “They have violence in their blood like a hereditary disease!”
"Mason controls the little cosmos he has created using all the wonders of his enormous skillset."
Watch brave little John John Florence give hell to Jeffreys Bay as a 13-year-old on first trip to Africa, “Every part of me is a surfer. I love surfing, and I love the waves that I surf”
Climbing against all odds from poverty to a position of honour and privilege!
New six-part surf video series documents controversial surfboard design described as “evil clowns that kill children!”
A wildly unique design created in 1995 by a Commie-hating soccer mom lookalike that promises to ruin your surfing forever!
Hot on heels of explosive 31-page attack on British royal family Prince Harry-lookalike stuns surf world with session at secret wave pundits are calling Australia’s Teahupoo!
“Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.”
Hawaiian big-wave superstar almost paralysed in horror wipeout three weeks ago shocks Australian surfers with dramatic cameo at the country’s heaviest wave, “I want the people to watch what is going to be consecrated here!”
"A true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above."
Surf world stunned as old age pensioner gives hell to giant hurricane swell in the Caribbean! “Seventy-three and still charging!”
"It goes beyond just feeling good. It’s a state of mind as well.”
Puerto Rico’s Dylan Graves smashes Guinness World Record for most turns on a wave with a leg-trembling 40 manoeuvres!
The compelling star of Vans' Weird Waves series rides a five-minute long tidal wave in remote Indonesia!
On eve of Bells Beach Pro, John John Florence releases stunning ode to Victoria’s Great Ocean Road, “Everything can happen here. Even the miracle of becoming loved again.”
“I feel fresh and clean, ready to fly up to paradise!”
World’s sexiest Only Fans star smashes internet with gripping advice on how to get better at surfing fast, “I went from zero airs to having the best surfer in the world say, ‘Hey, give me your knowledge on how to do aerials!”
“I was doing two three hour sessions a day, body slamming on the water over and over and coming in near tears!”
Hollywood in shock over “beautiful and sexy” Luke Hemsworth’s explosive new role alongside Great White attack survivor turned yoga teacher Mick Fanning in apocalyptic surf drama!
"Sessions of an hour or more during which she’ll have twenty to fifty consecutive orgasms!"
On eve of Trans Visibility Day world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater escapes furore over trans-exclusionary comments with wild surf session at a wave, “Almost no one can surf!”
Five essential minutes with the greatest of all time Kelly Slater and his understudy, the Hawaiian world champion John John Florence!
Female surfer controversially cut from world tour flaunts “revenge film” backed by activewear giant Lululemon, “We’re all familiar with the way the WSL rules bend with the breeze and under the weight of sponsors’ cash!”
"Do not be fooled by that smile."