Surfer magazine under fire again after yet another blunder!
Pacific Ocean actually a lake, says Surfer magazine.

Surfer magazine stumbles, again, hours after being called out by Carissa Moore for “dangerous lying”

Derek Rielly

By

"Bastion of kook" describes Pacific Ocean as a lake and North Stradbroke Island as being in the Northern Territory.

It ain’t easy being in the cut-and-paste surf aggregating biz as writers for Surfer magazine have found to their peril, shocking readers with multiple missteps and grievous errors. 

(BeachGrit is the pioneer of this labour-lite version of journalism, cleverly transferring acres of text from other sources into our own stories.) 

Following the purchase of Surfer by The Arena Group, a “tech-powered media company…that creates robust digital destinations that delight consumers with powerful journalism” a series of unforgivable errors have turned the once best and oldest surf mag in the world into a “bastion of kook.” 

First, the Emily Morgan phenomenon, Surfer’s Tennessee-based news writer who may, or may not, have been human but who was disappeared nonetheless following accusations she was a bot.

Then, bunny faced Nathan Florence was transmogrified into late middle-aged Nathan Fletcher.

Shock followed when its writers suggested Andy Irons had been killed by his wife. 

And just this morning,

BeachGrit was forced to step in and defend the honour of five-time world champion Carissa Moore who was falsely accused by Surfer of calling for a boycott of the Olympic Games. 

Now, a story about a small shark that had forced swimmers to, briefly, leave the water at North Stradbroke Island in Queensland has been slammed by online sleuths after the magazine made three extraordinary gaffes.

First, the excerpt.

A spokesperson for the local authorities gave this news:

“City of Darwin will work closely with NT Fisheries to investigate the matter and the public will be advised when the lake is reopened. In the meantime, the lake remains closed and is not to be used for any water activities.”

Surfer magazine mistake in story.
Surfer magazine confuses Pacific Ocean for Lake Alexander in the Northern Territory.

Do you see?

Mistake one: “City of Darwin.” The story takes place at North Stradbroke Island, two thousand miles away.

Mistake two: “NT Fisheries”. North Straddie is in Queensland.

Mistake three: “The public will be advised when the lake is reopened.” Cylinders, where the shark was frolicking among swimmers, is in the Pacific Ocean, not a lake.

Further investigation reveals the Surfer writer missed a crucial sentence in the Yahoo story linking the North Stradbroke Island event to another shark scare, this time in Darwin.

Surfer magazine source story from Yahoo.

Meanwhile, the popular Lake Alexander in Darwin was shut yesterday after a member of the public spotted a shark in the depths, NT News reported. A City of Darwin spokesperson said the lake would remain closed as officials scour the swimming spot in search for the animal, which, if found, will be “caught and released back into the ocean”.

“City of Darwin will work closely with NT Fisheries to investigate the matter and the public will be advised when the lake is reopened,” the spokesperson said.

Thoughts, prayers, yay for Palestine etc

BeachGrit makes shock pivot from “Unprofessional, Unethical, Inaccurate” to “Brave Defender of Pro Surfers’ Honor!”

Chas Smith

By

Setting the record straight.

I suppose, at the end, artificial intelligence is good for something. Last night as the sun was setting, Surfer Magazine’s robot got on the tools and decided that Carissa Moore had called for a boycott of the Paris Olympics over the Teahupo’o judging tower situation. As you are well aware, the machine believes strange things when it comes to our surfing. ChatGPT, for example, declared that Duke Kahanamoku was a gay icon. It also wrongly suggested that the august surfboard shaper Maurice Cole had been inducted into surfing’s Hall of Fame in 2006 even though, as everyone knows, he expressly and vociferously refused that shame.

Back to the universally adored Moore, though. As pointed out this morning by the noted longtime tour and media observer Lincoln Eather, SurferBot’s baldfaced lying about what she actually said had real potential consequences. “C’mon Surfer Magazine – you’re better than this,” Eather penned. “No where in the article does it state (or any videos you linked to, or anything on Riss’ profiles) does she state what you wrote in the headline. Click bait comes & goes, and can be funny. This borders on fvcked, you’re putting words in her mouth and at a level that could have kick-back on her from the Olympics… Do better.”

BeachGrit dutifully reposted, calling Surfer to account which, in turn, led to a Carissa Moore response.

“Mahalo BeachGrit for setting it straight for me,” she wrote. “I never said I was boycotting the Olympics. I am very saddened by how the new tower plans are negatively affecting my friends and family in Teahupo’o and of course the environment..” She continued to clearly state her position, in human words, on matters before including another slide calling Surfer to account.

BeachGrit shocking readers with its instant pivot from “sucking” and “not being liked by anyone” according to icons Nathan Florence and Koa Rothman or “cheap and character revealing” according to Kelly Slater to “brave defender of professional surfers’ honor.”

Thanks, Surfer.

Mariana Rocha, victim of deepfake nude blackmail plot.

Surfing champ in “emotional hell” over deepfake nudes blackmail plot!

Steve Rees

By

"They appear incredibly realistic. It appears inevitable that such images of me will be circulated online.”

Nothing, they say, is inherently good or bad, it’s how the thing is used that makes it so.

Like the 9mil Ruger under your bed or the hydrocodone on your cabinet.

It’s certainly true of the phone in your hand. Digital technologies afford us our daily dose of family friendly surfing website BeachGrit.

That’s good.

But such tech also breeds rats who scurry around the dark edges of the web sniffing out places to gnaw on the innocent.

And that’s bad.

Enter Mariana Rocha, surfing pro, 2017 Portuguese champ, and victim of rats. The twenty-six-year-old is being blackmailed for five large in exchange for withholding from the world AI-generated nude deepfakes of her.

It’s a high-tech, low-brow shakedown of the poor girl.

She recently received a series of anonymous texts accompanied by the forged nude pics:

“It will be sent to your family.

“Friends.

“Sponsors.

“And the hotel your city is…

“Unless we make a deal now.”

Hackers attempt to blackmail surf champ Mariana Rocha.
Hackers attempt to blackmail surf champ Mariana Rocha.

Surfing star Mariana told the cons that she didn’t have the green but they’re still threatening her with the release of the images.

“I’m in emotional hell,” she says. “I’ve been experiencing tremendous turmoil.”

She admits that, “Honestly, they appear incredibly realistic. It appears inevitable that such images of me will be circulated online.”

Still, she ain’t giving in to the extortion play. In fact, Mariana has gone public to support other women in the same dilemma.

“Recently, I’ve encountered the darker aspects of our evolving world. What’s most alarming is the prevalence of this issue affecting many. I want to bring my experience to light because I believe this new form of harassment similarly victimizes others.”

It’s a brave move, one that might push other victims to fight against a growing number of online attackers.
Deepfake AI bribery scams are on the rise. According to the World Economic forum deepfake videos are increasing at an annual rate of 900 per cent.

In 2022, the FBI received 7,000 reports of AI-related “financial sextortion” against minors. And what once required hundreds of images to create a false image of someone now can be done with just a single photo posted to the web. (I confess, if this happens to me, I just hope that my abs look tight, glutes shining.)

Ms. Rocha currently runs the organization The Proud Surfers in Women in Africa, a wonderful organization, albeit with a misleading name. The group aims to empower girls through a mix of therapy and surfing. Mariana’s got better things to do than waste her time with these crooks.

“Watch out,” she warns. “These fucking hackers are destroying lives, destroying dreams.

Carissa Moore (pictured) champion of hearts done dirty by the dastardly robot. Photo: WSL
Carissa Moore (pictured) champion of hearts done dirty by the dastardly robot. Photo: WSL

Surfer magazine blasted for dangerously lying about Carissa Moore

Chas Smith

By

"You're putting words in her mouth and at a level that could have kick-back on her from the Olympics..."

The oath every surf journalist takes, upon receiving his or her special Maurice Cole designed quill, is thus: “I shall not falsely attribute quotes to professional surfers and especially not Carissa Moore who is the most adored on this, and any other, planet.” Alas, we live in a new time where artificial intelligence is busily punching out stories for Surfer Magazine, the onetime “Bible of the Sport,” and these robots don’t even know the difference between a Maurice Cole and a Maurice Gibb.

Three days, ago, you recall that surfers worldwide, and particularly in Tahiti, became very angry when a barge plowed into Teahupo’o’s prized reef. Tensions had already been high with Olympic organizers wanting to replace the wooden judging tower with a brand-new aluminum one and locals pushing back over environmental concerns.

The barge incident seemed to swell the ranks of the opposition.

Derek Rielly wrote of the incident:

Following yesterday’s report the Olympic barge had accidentally bulldozed its way through the precious coral reef, Carissa Moore wrote:

“(Broken heart emoji) This doesn’t seem worth it.”

Surf fans were quick to dive on five-time world champion Moore’s comment, begging her to leverage her considerable influence to pressure organisers to cancel the tower’s construction with the threat of a surfer boycott.

Carissa left the comment unabridged, not calling for any specific action.

Yesterday, Surfer Magazine’s trending news bot took up the story under the headline “Reef Destroyed in Teahupo’o; 5x World Champ Carissa Moore Calls to Boycott Surfing in Paris 2024 Olympic Games (Video)”

There was neither a call to boycott nor a video of her calling for a boycott in the word salad that followed.

Calls To Boycott Surfer Magazine Grow

Lincoln Eather, noted longtime tour and media observer, pointed out the danger of lying about what Moore said, writing, “C’mon Surfer Magazine – you’re better than this. No where in the article does it state (or any videos you linked to, or anything on Riss’ profiles) does she state what you wrote in the headline. Click bait comes & goes, and can be funny. This borders on fvcked, you’re putting words in her mouth and at a level that could have kick-back on her from the Olympics… Do better.”

Can Surfer do better though? Does the algorithm care about all-too-human conceits like veracity and a good, honest day’s work down in the clickbait mines?

Probably not.

More as the story develops.

Creepy scenes on Australian beach and, inset, Koa Smith, a disciple of Joe Dispenza.
Creepy scenes at Balmoral and, inset, Joe Dispenza disciple Koa Smith.

Zombie-like scenes on Australian beach blamed on surfing-adjacent faith healer Joe Dispenza

Derek Rielly

By

“They’re waiting for the mothership. I’m just waiting for Jesus to walk out of the water now.”

Over the past two weeks the surfing world has been held spellbound by the miracles of best-selling author Joe Dispenza, often incorrectly written as Joe Spinoza at BeachGrit, healing the lame, putting the wheelchair industry out of biz etc.

After a week with Joe Dispenza, Griffin Colapinto, the almost-world title winner from San Clemente, wrote of the power of Joe and his patented Coherence Healing.

“All I’ll say is if I had an illness, the first thing I would do is go for a coherence healing,” wrote Colapinto adding he was “leaving this (Joe Dispenza) retreat with so much love in my heart and an understanding of how POWERFUL us humans Beings actually are. This Practice is changing the world for the better.”

At the same Joe Dispenza retreat Koa Smith, the almost Ultimate Surfer from Kauai, says he witnessed, first hand, own eyes etc, the miracle of the lame and crippled being gifted back the use of their legs.

To prove the miracle, Koa posted a photo of a walking stick in a garbage bin.

“I saw people getting up out of wheel chairs. I saw canes in the trash and people cracking their hearts wide open and feeling true love for themselves!” wrote Smith.

“Dr. Joe Dispenza is helping us understand how to tap back into Human potential. Taking complex techniques and science and making it digestible for anyone. He’s reminding us that we have the power to create the life we desire. We have the power to tap in and heal our selves from anything and ultimately how to heal other people.”

All very good stuff and very important for crippled people to realise that it’s all in their heads etc.

Now, after a photo of sinister zombie-like scenes at an Australian beach was posted on a community Facebook page in Sydney, locals poured onto Facebook to voice their concern.

“Does anyone know why people stand individually on Balmoral Beach on Sunday mornings? I would love to know,” one user wrote on the Mosman Living group.

Joe Dispenza acolytes practise Walking Meditation on Balmoral Beach
Creepy scenes at Balmoral Beach blamed on Joe!

“Could it be a cult?”

“They’re waiting for the mothership. I’m just waiting for Jesus to walk out of the water now.”

“Why do I hear a choir of angels singing? So many questions…”

“Looks like a zombie movie.”

“Weird.”

“Never seen this.”

Turns out the weekly event uses the magic of Joe Dispenza where followers utilise his patented Walking Meditation techniques.

Writes Joe Dispenza,

“The Walking Meditation is a great way to practice transitioning from a seated meditation, where we change our energy with our eyes closed, to an active meditation – where we change our energy while standing, followed by walking in that energy with our eyes open. In these meditations, we walk as it. We demonstrate who we want to be in our future, and we become it.”

Change your life like Griff or Koa.

Buy here!

Photo: Jack English
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