Timid small wave surf champ Filipe Toledo profoundly shamed in bombshell new Ethan “Ice Man” Ewing interview

The tree of spite watered with li'l lion tears.

The rise of Australia’s Ethan Ewing feels positively fated at this point. The boy who grew up with his mother’s Bells Beach trophy next to his bed going on to dominate professional surfing at its highest level. Strong jaw, sculpted buttocks, a backhand attack so pure that judges get spinny eyes and punch 8.4s into little computers.

Ewing is currently number two in the world, nipping at Griffin “Gautama” Colapinto, and will be heading to Teahupo’o this summer to represent the southern cross in the Olympics.

All thrilling and very much deserving of a 7,000 word profile, one graciously crafted by our friends at The Guardian.

We learn the staples, Ewing’s destiny, the way he sits on priority and, thus, earned the nickname “ice man,” how Joel Parkinson gave him an Andy Irons surfboard and shared that the legend would have loved him.

How he broke his back at the aforementioned Mouth of Skulls.

“I wiped out pretty hard,” Ewing told journalist Kieren “Perrow” Pender. “I hit the reef directly on my back. Straight away I knew something was not right. I thought that was it for my year – being so close to the finals, and something so serious to do with your spine, I thought there was no way.”

The traipse down memory lane revealed how Ewing competed against, and eventually lost to, eventual champion Filipe Toledo at Lower Trestles but then did the champion-esque thing.

Per the piece:

After last year’s WSL finals, Ewing went straight back to Tahiti to “get over any mental hurdles”. The surfer says he would be feeling slightly apprehensive, injury or no injury. “It’s definitely a really intimidating wave,” he says. “But I feel like I’ve had some good performances there and am definitely feeling more comfortable.”

Unmentioned, though heavily vibed, Filipe Toledo’s not going straight back to Tahiti to “get over any mental hurdles.”

The timid Brazilian is famously scared of Teahupo’o. So mythically scared, in fact, that he opted to take the entire year off instead of facing light criticism over his terrors. He, too, will be at Teahupo’o for the Olympics and might stun the world with actual effort.

Or he may reprise his brave act of cowardice for a third time.

Which do you prefer to watch?

The tree of spite watered with li’l lion tears.