Olympic surf coach predicts “flying elbows” at Teahupoo after Paris 2024 rule set revealed

"Some paddle battles are going to be psycho. They’re gonna be bumping rails and elbowing each other, whatever it takes to get that inside."

Australian surf coach extraordinaire Matt Bemrose has revealed a strange new rule that will see Olympic surfers “bumping rails” and “elbowing each other” as they battle for pole position at the start of each heat.

Bemrose featured yesterday on the adored surf podcast “Ain’t That Swell” giving listeners an insider’s view on the build-up to the Olympics in Tahiti.

The tastiest tidbit: each heat will start with a paddle battle from the priority boat into the lineup.

Per the ATS:

We’re only just hearing this now for the event for Monday, it’s gonna be pretty funny, for instance you’ve gotta go to the boat 15 minutes before you paddle out and right before you paddle out there’s a three minute break. And they announce the surfer, and the surfer has literally two minutes to get from the priority boat to the lineup before the heat starts. And I’m going, that’s going to be the biggest paddle battle in the history of the sport, and the amount of hassling to get to the inside before the first set comes, it’s gonna be an Ironman before the heat starts, its gonna be nuts.

For the spectators its gonna be amazing and I really hope they film that two minutes before the heat starts. Some paddle battles are going to be fucken psycho. You think about how how nuts Jack is, how nuts Medina is, Joao – all those guys, they’re gonna be bumping rails and elbowing each other, whatever it takes to get that inside. It’s gonna be fucken going down.

Both Bemrose and podcast host Vaughan Blakey also took the opportunity to throw shade on the WSL for their decision to play ads during the first four minutes of every heat.

“That’s the craziest part, that’s the most funnest bit,” said Bemrose. “The first four minutes is when it’s the fucken most wildest thing because no-one has priority, everyone’s battling for that first wave. That’s what we wanna see.”

Note that the WSL is not running the webcast for the Olympics, so decisions on ad breaks etc. will presumably be made by the carriers with the rights to broadcast the Olympics in each market.

Longtime Teahupo’o bodyboarder and forecaster Simon Thornton was also on the line to give his hot takes on the outlook for the event, his hottest take being that we will see at least one righthander ridden later in the event thanks to a strong West angle in the swell. Elephant-brained surf fans may recall that Tom Whitaker and Andy Irons both earned decent scores going right at Chopes in years gone by.

And so we wait with bated breath for that first battle paddle, two minutes before that first heat, likely this Saturday around eight am Tahiti time.