Baby child famous for outshining world surf champ at deadly Teahupoo gets regulated!
The seven-year-old surf prodigy Uriah Anchor became famous last year when he outshone Filipe Toledo at Teahupoo, riding the joint as if he was born there, a plastic helmet his only protection against the deadly reef.
Toledo, you’ll remember, was in the running for a shock gold medal at the Olympics last year, even clocking an almost perfect ride while the surf remained small. However, his hopes of glory were shattered when the surf got a little bigger and Toledo threatened to reprise his famous zero-point heat total there.
Eight months ago, Uriah Anchor released a few IG posts where he fearlessly attacks the famous left that has flummoxed two-time world champ Filipe Toledo for well over a decade. His performances drew sharp praise from a cavalcade of surf stars including the man who pioneered backside tube riding at Pipeline Johnny Boy Gomes.
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Uriah Anchor’s latest drop is a take on the 1992 film Kelly Slater in Black and White, a short film that confirmed, as if confirmation was necessary, the 21-year-old Floridian’s genius.
As he, or his daddy, explains on the channel,
This is our 1992-inspired surf edit for the Chemistry Surfboards Surf Video Challenge.
When Chemistry Surfboards raffled off four custom boards to local Osiders, 7-year-old Uriah was one of the lucky names drawn. The challenge? Film and edit a complete surf video in just one month.
Uriah took that board straight to work—stacking clips at Lowers, Trestles, Teahupoo, and more…
pushing his progression and style on every wave.
The highlight, in my book, is baby child getting regulated by a man at Teahupoo. Uriah deals calmly with the unexpected visitor from the heavens, scoots around the blade, and gets tubed out of his head.
Question to the below-the-line gang: you ever give hell to a kid in the water?
If so, what was the rationale and did it feel like a triumph of the spirit or did you go home and weep?
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Pretty sad and when his kid is a cracked out 18 year old he will be looking for someone to blame
White belt BG commentator for sure
Fuck all these prodigy kid surfers ,burn em all ! Little wankers
Maybe learn some respect before you learn to hassle kiddies
(your parents are fuckwits for putting this stuff out there too)
Toledo will remain infamous as the “un-Andy Irons” — forever.
I was super stoked if my dad dropped me and my board off at the beach. Most of the time the answer was no even after pleading. 😅
Pretty simple. If your dad/mom/coach/jet ski pushed/towed you into a wave you have no right of way.
Is 7 years too late to exercise a woman’s right to choose?
And then naming yourself Pizza Time on disqus?
You must be very close to him sounds like you know him so well!
Mom, Dad or Coach?
I am so hoping its coach. There’s a huge line of commenters waiting to blast the fool in every which way.
Dead giveaway.
just a POSATRON i guess?
Maybe stick to being a Dentist, Because as a social media influencer pushing his kiddo out to the World, I would’ve thought you’d be way more savvy on how the net works Matt.
reading the response “POSITRON”, I’d say mom…….
or beta dad…..
…………or Queer Surf coach.
Imagine spending all year saving to go on a surf trip and you get there and a 7 year old is hogging the peak and getting pushed into more waves than you. I would fucken lose it.
It’s obviously not the kid making all the clips, vids, etc, very likely the dad. There is just something extremely cunty and self-aggrandizing about anyone drawing a comparison of themselves to Slater. Add the disco wetsuits, horn signs, tongue out crap and you are looking at a mess in the making.
…”a short film that confirmed, as if confirmation was necessary, the 21-yr-old Floridian’s genius“.
Well what would you expect from someone who’s not only a well-known wave slider but also a doctor, epidemiologist, mathematician, engineer, hydro dynamicist, musician, doting father to a daughter etc etc etc…
P.S.
What’s the odds that Uriah’s parents find themselves on the pointy end of a lawsuit for making a surf movie called ‘in black and white’ ?
Too many to list!
Asses covered: “In Black and White”
Asses BARE
Both this and baldies are IN black and white
(I’ve now edited my comment to accentuate the similarity)
film is titled Kelly Slater in Black and White.
McDonalds v. McDowells:
“I’m McDowell’s… See, they got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Myck.”
but yeah, you’re kind of right, I’m kind of wrong but you’re kind of wrong and I’m kind of right.
Want a Beer & Beef?
That dad is a “doctor” (of teeth) so he does have that in common with Sme11y.
Wooly gives the full Warning spiel in the beginning too…then Uriah chimes in and says “How was that guy? make some copies for your bros…rip him off. Who cares?”
There’s no way the kid doesn’t turn out an insufferable narcissist hot mess. At least he picked the right sport for it.
Too right. Golf or suurfing…can’t split em
John John grew up in a similar vein, feted by Vogue etc, and he turned out a very fine man.
Yeah but he could actually stand up on his board properly…
Dang, tough audience. Kid in second grade.
Almost 8 and still in second grade ?
Isn’t that a bit ‘slow’ ?
Perhaps he’s already been kept back a year, or (more likely), homeschooled.
Does he come from San
dementéClemente ?P.S.
At least waveslidings top epidemiologist went to school.
For a while anyway…
100% homeschooled
Its not slow though. That would make him 18 in 12th grade (year 12 in Aus). That’s pretty typical age.
Speaking of school… I dont think you understands grades…. 7 and in second grade would make him one of the youngest second graders.
Not sure if you understand how much you appear to be the douchebag parent of this kid with your 3 posts total, all of which are in this sharticle. Now go back to your computer and make edits that compare your kid to the GOAT.
Not everyone can have so little value of their time and self worth as to waste their life away with 5000 comments on trash message boards like you have done lol.
New to the “community” thanks for the welcome 🙂
OK Momdadcoachager. Go fix some teeth.
Might be time for you to attend elementary school yourself 😉
Then kindly tell this parents their squatty poo-stanced little boy is not the next fucking Kelly Slater. Cheers.
not really. no instagram when John John was growing up.
And that’s The point.
Hawaii at that time would keep you humble as well.
Came back to say this.
yep, Alex is a great mom….but the NS community raised that kid.
No free ride for him. Coolest thing about JJF was he was always respectful, gracious, never cocky, worked hard and earned every bit of success he has.
Except when JJF surfed as a grom it was pretty clear he was a special talent.
The only thing clear about this kid is that his parents really want him to surf.
Just got back from the land of perky tits and durries and blow me down with a feather, having a late arvo splash at Prevent out of convenience and called a grom into a runner thinking he’d appreciate, paddles back out and ruthlessly burns some guy who is not impressed, calls out the kid and gives him very stern talking to, guy moves back to the peak into and instant wave, kid flat out smokes him again all the way to the sand haha. Fuck.
Xox
Haha, my first thoughts as well.
Precocious, sassy child prodigies with attitude always end up so well adjusted.
yep, the hair tells you everything you need to know….and raising your kid on instagram clicks.
No worries, some sponsor will pick him up, exploit him and turn him into the next Christian Fletcher……….or Andy Irons
Send him on a surf trip with sarge
Looks like Juan Juan in the old Surfrider Foundation commercials.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=QjnxwCQTv84&si=Ljgdi3Kwl3yglvV3
“When I see trash on the beach it makes me sad and sick to my stomach” JBG