"Great AI description."
The surf great Kelly Slater has not been featured on these pages in nearly three weeks, a drought that has left his legion fans moaning in agony. The 53-year-old father of two was not in South Africa for the J-Bay Open nor, as far as I understand, did he call in to offer an opinion on the event. He was not in Brazil before that because duh. He was not given a wildcard into the upcoming Tahiti Pro and he is nowhere near the top five, in the World Surf League rankings, so likely not heading to Fiji for the season closer.
A little internet sleuthing has revealed the 11-time world champion was in Hawaii, a week ago, vacationing with his Chinese girlfriend and young formerly nameless son.
Taking to Instagram, Slater shared a carousel of photos along with the moving caption, “We recently had a great little family vacation to @konavillagerosewood. Amazing spot to decompress. Multiple restaurants to choose from (and breakfast buffet was out of this world), spa treatments, live local music, sailing, pool time, petroglyphs, food garden, and lots of sleep, walks and bike rides. Thank you guys so much for having us. We’ve been looking forward to staying here for a long time and it was better than anticipated.”
View this post on Instagram
Kona Village on the Big Island’s north shore, in case your interest piqued.
As you might expect, most were overjoyed with the share. Gabriel Medina responded, “Enjoy brother.” Kai Lenny added, “The good life.” Conner Coffin, Lyndie Irons, Clark Little and many more made heart emojis, clapping emojis and raising the roof emojis.
Dibi Fletcher, though, ain’t built like that.
The surfing matriarch, wife of Herbie, mother of Christian and Nathan, co-inventor of AstroDeck appeared underwhelmed by Slater’s robotic writing style and penned, “Great AI description.
Slater, somewhere between honored and offended, responded, “Well maybe I would be a great writer for A.I.’s then” and included a laugh cry emoji so people would know he was laugh crying.
Dibi, quick on the draw, answered, “I think so, your description is perfect” and added a clapping emojis and laugh cry emojis.
Over to you, though. Do you think Kelly Slater should spend some time practicing the writing craft, maybe attending a workshop or two, or do you think he wildly succeeds at everything he tackles, including mastery over the English language?
Share, please.
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lol, decompress from what, exactly
Old boy is starting to grow a pouch like the rest of us. https://media4.giphy.com/me…
Well… these are not good times to be Kelly Slater
🤣🤣🤣
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
In other hand… Can’t understand his absence just in J-Bay, fighting for the win… and starting the run for the 12th.
Maybe he would… in one of these waves of consequences to come…
Cant the guy (colonel kell kurst) just fuk off back to his cave in the veitnamese rainforest with his cult, or do an apocalyps now sequel..the pain the pain
West side not north shore big island
A.I.’s what?
I don’t think an AI would use that grocer’s apostophe.
As for A.I., yes he would’ve, most definitely.
I’m going with raising the child as his top priority right now…
ke12y has lost many close friends to bad grammar and clunky exposition.
he knows more than 99% of literature professors.
Seems like the perfect place for kelly to dropknee and propose but Tao has taken to boogieboarding much to Kellys dissatisfaction that kalani has not produced the pro surfer he wanted.
Meanwhile, kalani sits back in envy scrolling thru italos Instagram account.
Hualalai is better
Super surfer, grandmaster seeker of truth and justice and soon to be WSL president of all he surveys. In short, God.
“Kona Village on the Big Island’s north shore”
although I hate to correct your usually spot on, fact based journalism; for your information……Kona Village Resort is on the West Shore of the Big Island.
You’re welcome.
But northern facing.
North Adjacent…and although that portion of the coast takes a northerly bend, the beach at the resort faces dead west.
You got problem with my compass, I’ll meet you on the beach……at Kona Village.
Dawn. Maps drawn.
IT’S ON!
THE CARTOGRAPHY PRO brought to you by North Face
better bring your best Sundial.
Pick a Tower to meet.
Pink Helmet Tower
slater jr is a goofyfoot?!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
And a boogieboarder
It’s not AI it’s just bad copywriting.
#AIforever
AI’s birthday! Forty-seven today!
see.
He should stick to guitar playing ..
Or write a book..dorian grey of surfing…
Slater should spend some time trying to figure out why that kid is a ginger.
Helllll yeah Barreled, you’re on the money there, might have to know you as Eagle Eyes from now on.
This kid’s a dead ringer for James Duncan O’Brien, his hair colour and shape of head are spot on.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Seems like there’s been a bit of ‘fence jumping’ along Ke Nui Rd, as usual…
He’s got Jaime’s build as well.
HAHAHA
That’s funny!
Harry?
Yeah well what else do ya expect from him.
After all, his birth name IS Robot kelly slater…
Such a shame he opted for Tao. That’s almost as retarded as koa.
I think he should have gone with Chas’ suggestion – Formerly Nameless.
Good strong name that, says it all really.
The child formally known as nameless.
Xox
I like the sound of doug or thad personally
$1,500 a night. I am sure it was nice.
$1,500 a night to you or I.
Free for kelly, or more likely he was paid to grace the establishment with his holier than thou presence.
And ‘sailing’ ?
Looks more like paddling an outrigger canoe from this angle.
(sounds like kelly trying to pretend he’s a sailor now, to not feel left out after hearing about the family Florence’s oceangoing exploits…)
They are the new Sailing La Vagabond except they are in an outrigger right off the sand at a multi million dollar resort for millionaires. And they don’t have Elayna’s lovely rig to display.
That description he wrote paid for the stay.
Copy and paste the following onto your social media and your stay is comped.
BITD Kona Village was the resort retreat for the uber rich and celebrity class.
I got to do a job there for an ad campaign. Splendid. 5 Star service and food.
Def worth the price if you have the means.
Motion, Stills, or Copy.?
Stills
fuck, now Hulk Hogan passed away. Double gut punches right in the childhood this week🙁
Brother – he was a piss poor human. Not that hard a punch.
I’ll forever hate him for helping take down Gawker.
YES.
Oh man – memories. Yeah he was banging Bubba’s wife and the tape was leaked by them. Two quality humans right there.
I’m admittedly still not happy with him for taking down Andre the Giant.
That’s his real legacy, unwillingly shaped the global media landscape.
Were you a gawker scribe at some point?
Don’t know about his punch, but the man had some huge hands….like seriously.
like Lary Holmes size mitts.
only man to escape the camel clutch!
Hulk used to frequent an establishment I owned several years ago.
Super funny…and a very nice guy. He treated our staff with incredible grace and kindness.
Rip Hulk.
When I hear “frequent an establishment”, I tend to think of strip clubs and massage parlors.
maybe it was…..and maybe it wasn’t
and maybe it was a Scottish Hotel……and maybe it was wasn’t.
Screw him. Thiel bankrolled him and got Gawker shut down.