Griff Colapinto and Jordy Smith caught red-handed giving limp fish shakes on Finals Day

Yago Dora winning World Surf League Championship Tour cup before even paddling out.

The handshake. A staple of the western male greeting ritual. There are very many ways to go about, firmly gripping an extended palm in an attempt to show dominance, warmly holding beyond the accepted time limit in order to signify affection, but it is a minefield of signification with the worst, most unfortunate iteration, being the dreaded “limp fish.”

We’ve all been there, on both ends. Either as top, accidentally extending a paw and missing grip, thereby delivering an embarrassing and weak grasp or as bottom, receiving a delicate hold and having to navigate the myriad emotions it contains.

I was in Florida, not many months ago, in any case, attending the now-legendary Florida Surf Film Festival, and was pounced upon by a man with an opinion on the matter. He, if I’m being frank, did not present as someone who would care. Small in stature with a fragile voice, but he was also furious after receiving a limp fish from none other than Michael Dunphy.

Now, Dunphy, from resume, is an absolute man’s man. Packs barrels with aplomb. Went and got a pilot’s license to charter his way to empty slabs, and yet, whether accidental or on purpose, delivered a limp fish to the aforementioned small statured man and he was furious.

“If he shakes hands like that, he’s lost whatever it is he’s trying to win before even beginning,” was the opinion.

Well, he might have been prophetic for, days ago, the World Surf League held its Finals Day at vaunted Cloudbreak in Fiji. While the surf failed to materialize in the excellent range, there were fine enough performances, Brazil’s Yago Dora winning at the end.

South Africa’s Jordy Smith was second, coming in, and San Clemente’s Griffin Colapinto third. Colapinto dispatched fourth place Italo Ferreira then banished Smith with ease and seemed to be on his way to manifesting champion.

Alas, directly after the heat, the two shook hands, each delivering a limp fish (see above), two feminine clutches, and, thus, the day was sealed for Dora.

How do you feel about handshakes? How do you deliver and are you ashamed when you mangle?

David Lee and I did not discuss during our main weekly chat but did delve into Colapinto’s performative Dispenza-ing being a real miss.

Enjoy.