Fireworks spew as Uncle Jesse calls Mossimo “narcissistic” in wake of Aunt Becky split

"This woman’s a saint."

Mourning is beginning to turn to anger as surf fans grapple with the demise of an industry power couple. Mossimo Giannulli and Lori Laughlin, better known as Aunt Becky, stunned the surf public nearly two weeks ago when they announced the end of their two decade union.

Mossimo, of course, founded his eponymous label on Balboa Island in 1986 after dropping out of the University of Southern California to chase the surfwear dream. Armed with only a $100,000 loan from his father, he flipped it to $1 million in profit after that first year, millions upon millions after that.

In 1997, the dashing Giannulli swept Laughlin off her feet and a surf industry Camelot was born.

All was fairytale-like until 2019 when trouble came a knockin’. Giannulli and Laughlin were convicted of paying a handler $500,000 to get their daughters into the aforementioned USC. Giannulli serving 5 months behind bars. Laughlin three.

Surf fans rejoiced after they were released, hoping that the experience made the union stronger and the entire industry could return to a golden age, Hurley once again making boardshorts, not beard oil, Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA and Volcom each separate brands, but alas.

It did not.

Days ago, it was revealed that the reason for the split was Mossimo’s tomcattin’ around town. And now, John Stamos, better known as Uncle Jesse, has declared that the pinched-face’d Giannulli is a narcissist.

Sitting down on the Good Guys podcast, Unc continued, “Forty years I’ve known her. You can see through people after a few years. This woman’s a saint. I’m just heartbroken for her right now. I really tried to be there for her during [the divorce] and also with the college scandal. I’m not going to debate whether she had much to do with it or not. I know she didn’t. She goes to fucking prison for this asshole for three months.”

Ouch.

Surf fans digging through drawers, pulling Mossimo tees and trunks out and pondering whether to burn them privately or publicly.