Rage-filled Australian surfers thrill as new Mazda SUV adds amplified cursing feature

"The Chinese-built CX-6e comes equipped with an 'External Announcement' function."

But there you are, dear Australian surfer, in the car park a little later than you wanted to be. The sun is already up and all the spots are filled. You desperately scan, hoping beyond hope for a miracle. But soft! What light toward the last row breaks? It’s the east and the middle-aged man, dripping wet, gently cradling a 7-foot fun shape and unlocking his Chery Tiggo 4 is the sun! You pull up behind as he opens his rear hatch while sliding two miniature sawhorses from underneath the carriage with his foot. He gently places his surfboard on the sawhorses while retrieving a circular standing mat and rinse kit from his vehicle.

He proceeds to thoroughly rinse whilst slowly peeling his wetsuit down to his waist. You look up and see the tree branches begin to ruffle. The wind coming up too soon. He then walks to the passenger side door and pulls out a changing poncho, slipping it on then returning to his circular standing mat, stripping the wetsuit all the way down.

It has been five and a half minutes so far.

He reaches back into the vehicle and pulls a large Tupperware container toward himself then bends down to pick up his circular standing mat with wetsuit atop. He slides the wetsuit into the Tupperware container then returns to his rinse kit, giving the bottom of his circular standing mat a thorough spraying before placing it, too, in the Tupperware container.

Another minute has passed. The tree branches are now swaying.

He moves back to the passenger side but this time opens the rear door and retrieves a pair of blue dungarees then returns to the rear of the vehicle, sits down in the cargo area and slowly pulls one dungaree leg on, then the other.

He stretches his arms far above his head and sways side to side, loosening his lower back, before returning to the rear passenger side door and retrieving a t-shirt. He slips the changing poncho off and the t-shirt on before returning, once again, to the rear of his vehicle where he sits down in the cargo area, once again, and rinses the bottom of one foot with the rinse kit, reaches back into his Tiggo and produces two shoes and one pair of socks. He dries the bottom of his foot with the sock, puts it on his foot, puts one shoe on and ties it using a double knot. He rinses the bottom of the other foot with the rinse kit, dries it with the other sock, puts it on then puts the remaining shoe on, tying it, too, with a double knot.

And this is when you wish you had a Mazda. According to Road & Track Magazine:

The Chinese-built CX-6e, which is not sold in the United States, comes equipped with an “External Announcement” function. That feature turns the EV into a giant rolling loudspeaker at the press of a button. There are several pre-recorded messages, such as “Hey buddy I am here.” However, you can also program the system to announce anything you want … without, apparently, any filters. If you want to tell the driver of the car in front of you that just cut you off to f–k off, your Mazda can do that for you. 

Watch it in action here.