Breaking: Australian movement to reject British crown gains steam over perceived mistreatment of “Surfing Royals” Harry and Meghan!

Some food for thought.

And I’ll admit to being jealous of Australia and Canada and their infantile suckling on the teat of Britain’s proud monarchy. Oh the history, the pomp, the comfort in being tucked into bed, nightly, knowing a steady hand is at or near the wheel. We Americans are let to bob up and down, swinging from the jowls of one highly unpredictable politician to the next. Our “king” is basically Mike Bloomberg and imagine that.

The horror, the horror.

In any case, Australia’s “republican” movement has gained sudden steam over perceived mistreatment of “Australian-esque” Prince Harry and his beautiful wife Meghan Markle. Their “surf-like” qualities are admired in the land down under but let’s learn more and then, as Americans, give some advice.

Harry and Meghan’s decision comes at a time when Australians are talking very seriously about becoming a republic, although recent polling has provided mixed results. A February 2018 poll by Research Now found 52% supported a republic with 25% unsure and just 22% supporting the monarchy.

A Newspoll in November 2018, just after a royal tour by Harry and Meghan, found only 40% supported a republic with 48% against. This was the first time since 1999 that a poll found more people opposed the change.

In 2019, it was even reportedly proposed that Harry might be made the governor-general of Australia. This move would have potentially boosted royal support but was ultimately dismissed.

A Dynata poll in June 2019 then found that support for a republic among under 25-year-olds had grown to 57%, with 50% of those 25-34 supporting a change.

A large part of the couple’s appeal is that they appear relatable (read: surfy) when compared to the Queen or Prince Charles. It certainly is relatable for a couple in their 30s with a young family to want to move from home and be financially independent. The catch for monarchists is that much of the couple’s popularity comes from their rejecting traditional royal roles.

Now, advice…

DON’T LEAVE THE CROWN! Freedom may look good but one day you wake up sandwiched between Bill and Hillary Clinton, Bill mouth-breathing, Hillary binge watching episodes of Friends while passive-aggressively hate-texting Seema Nanda and think… “Whoa. How’d I end up here?”

More as the story develops.

World #3 Lakey Peterson shucks Hurley, signs with Vissla sub-brand Sisstrevolution!

As Hurley team gets demolished, little companies line up to catch many bargains…

In the second-biggest thing to happen to Vissla this year, the other revealed tomoz, the company has signed world number three and almost-Olympian Lakey Peterson to its one-year-old Sisstrevolution brand. 

“I’ve always thought that she does the best turns on the Women’s WCT,” says Paul Naude, the South African-born founder of Vissla and its various brands, a man who has also owned a surfboard company, surf mags, surf brands, been a surf photographer, took over Billabong when Bob Hurley split in 1998 and tried to buy Billabong when it tanked but was rebuffed and from there came Vissla.


As was reported in December, Hurley, under new owners Bluestar Alliance, would demolish, at the earliest opportunity and with a curious intensity, the greatest surf team ever assembled, John John, Kolohe, Julian, Filipe, Carissa, Lakey etc.

Ain’t nobody was getting out of that slaughterhouse alive.

Now, Lakey, who is twenty-five and a tour veteran of eight seasons, which includes a runner-up finish in 2018 and a third last year, has found a found a new menu to eat from.

Re: this year’s tour, Lakey says, “I’m not here to get second place.” 

Wanna reminisce a little?

Let’s go back to 2017 when Filipe tried to coach Lakey into a 540 down in Mex, Lakey’s highlight movie from her Hurley years.

Coming Tomorrow: A BeachGrit surprise so unexpected you’ll forget about impeachments, Megxits and mankind’s collapse into vicious tribal warfare!

It's anti-depressive!

It was the great American philosopher Rodney King who asked the question, “Can’t we all get along?” The answer then, in 1993 while Los Angels burned, was a resounding “No…” which has only become louder, more resounding, as the decades spin on. The United States’ two major political parties, Democrats and Republicans, don’t speak anymore. Democrat family members refuse to invite Republican family members over for dinner.

Israel and Palestine.

The British are getting out of Europe and the Royals are getting out of the British Royal Family.

John Lennon and The Beatles.

Surfers who drive many cars and fly many planes hate Norwegians who make their oil.

Shark livers.

And is the world officially over? Has mankind reached its breaking point where brother will kill brother will kill sister will kill brother until only the blind remain?

Have you lost hope?

Believe in BeachGrit for one more dark night and tomorrow it shall be restored.

"Have you tried the champagne setting yet? It's to die!"
"Have you tried the champagne setting yet? It's to die!"

Let them Surf Lakes: Posh Sydney neighborhood set to receive world’s first exclusive, luxury, members’ only wave tank!

Come see how the other half plan to live!

It’s funny to think, isn’t it, that the world’s first jaw-dropping manmade wave generating facility is still exclusive and private. The fact that Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch is in “the world’s least desirable hamlet™” has not deterred its World Surf League owners from keeping the “rehabilitated” Lemoore water ski pond a “luxury experience.”

People, and businesses, apparently pay top-ish dollar to drive, or fly, to Lemoore and surf surrounded by cow stink and abject poverty and surf amongst it.

Well, Surf Ranch’s days may be numbered as a posh northwest Sydney enclave, known for designer penile surgery, is set to build a properly exclusive, luxury, members’ wave tank where you will not be invited nor tolerated.

Shall we learn about? It’d be seen as “low class” and “nationalistic” to not.

An exclusive inland wave park has been proposed for an unusual location on the outskirts of north west Sydney.

The Wisemans Ferry Retreat and Golf Club on the Hawkesbury River submitted an application to the Hills Shire Council on January 23 to construct a 13,735 square metre wave pool complete with a beach and lounge area on their existing site.

The pool will use more than 30,000 cubic metres of water filtered from the Hawkesbury while utilising wave-generating technology from American company Surf Loch Wave Systems.

But not everyone will be able to enjoy the attraction, because the wave park will be exclusive to retreat guests.

A spokesperson from The Wisemans Ferry Retreat and Golf Club told Daily Mail Australia they had been ‘told not to discuss’ the proposal, which was reportedly made by the new owners of the resort.

Which leaves us to speculate freely and wildly. Which Australian surf star will be the “face of the brand?” I think it would do this new pool will to acquire Julian Wilson’s board real estate and also have him act as chief pool boy. Imagine the swoon of the wealthy heiresses. It’d be enough to power the plow.


Nick Carroll you say?

Don’t be daft. Nick is a dyed-in-the-wool communist. He doesn’t go for this sort of classism.

More as the story develops.

Baby you can be my car...
Baby you can be my car...

Researchers in England declare shark livers as perfect “climate change retarding” alternative fuel sending animal activists into blistering rage!

Ecologically catastrophic. Or is it?

Now, in a conundrum not seen since medieval scholastics debated how many angels could fit on the head of a pin, we have What Would Greta Thunberg Do? An reductio ad absurdum so thickly layered, so powerfully fraught that the most intelligent minds of our day will be driven utterly mad.

To wit, researchers in Newcastle, England just discovered a biofuel cleaner, better, more cost-effective, powerful and theoretically more renewable than old french fry grease. The holy grail? Shangri-la? Let us go ourselves to that Jolly Pendulum and learn.

A new paper by a team of researchers from Newcastle University in England describes a cheaper, if controversial, alternative source for biodiesel: shark livers.

Livers can make up to 30 percent of a shark’s body mass and sharks are a large fraction of by-catch in many fisheries. Since livers are often a waste product of fisheries—and are sometimes even dumped at sea because of their low value—they have potential as an inexpensive source material for biodiesel. As well, extracting the oil is relatively simple. When placed in the sun, the livers melt, releasing the fatty oil that can be mixed with a catalyst and alcohol to make a commercial grade of biodiesel.

While it sounds like a plausible way to use an often-discarded waste product, there are potential problems with the idea. Of primary concern is the difficulty determining the source species for the oil and whether the livers were a byproduct of a legal fishery or the target of an illegal one.

“I would hate to incentivize killing sharks for fuel,” says Adam Harvey, a coauthor of the paper, adding that “if the sharks are already dead, it’s best to get as much a value out of them as possible.”

From an economic standpoint, if a market develops for another use of shark livers, it could contribute to collapsing shark populations, making the potential shark liver biodiesel industry short-lived, cautions Simpfendorfer. From an ecological standpoint, it would be catastrophic. He adds, “the next step is to make sure we don’t dive into this without thinking very critically about it.”

Now, back to dear Greta. I don’t know that she has any great love for sharks and might well sacrifice them for a cooler climate but… if the shark’s decimation could contribute to a catastrophic ecology then I can’t imagine she’d be pleased.



Word of caution, Elon Musk has already been driven utterly mad pondering this enigma.