"I’m like damn, at 35 you can start doing shit you’ve always wanted to do.”
The Hollywood funnyman and surfer inspiration to anyone whoever thought about turning to surf late in life but were worried they’d missed the boat or thought they were too chubby, weak, afraid etc, is rumoured to’ve spent millions on Waimea Bay’s iconic Samurai House.
The joint has five bedrooms and nine bathrooms, eight of ‘em with bidets. Very clean ass!
It hangs off the rocks on the Haleiwa side of the Bay and is a short bike ride from a host of longboard friendly waves, including Chuns, Leftovers, Alligators and, if Hill is ready to step up, there’s Jocko’s and Laniakea a little further down the road.
When the big winter swells come from the North, and suitably equipped with a surfboard of nine-feet or more, Hill might even consider leaping from the rim of his swimming pool and paddling out and over to the Bay itself.
A three-thousand dollar a night rental until the rumoured sale, the four-thousand square feet house has ocean views from every single damn room and the three master suites on the upper level have balconies that make y’feel as if you’re hovering over the ocean.
You’ll remember last week, news that Hill, whose career peaked when he shelved Russ Brand’s smack in the comedy classic Get Him to the Greek, had listed the Malibu Colony joint he’d just renovated in the gated celebrity enclave once home to Tom Hanks, Woody Harrelson, Jeff Bridges and Billy Murray, footsteps from the point made famous by anti-hero Dora, and picked up something on the sand.
Why take an electric buggy to the beach when you can roll down the stairs?
“Been terrified to surf my whole life,” Hill says, “Totally random fear and at the same time always been a secret dream of mine. Turned out to be one of the most fun experiences I’ve ever had. Not only was it so fun and challenging but more so I’m like damn, at 35 you can start doing shit you’ve always wanted to do.”
I have suddenly taken a keen interest in what is happening weather wise in Guadalajara.
Yeah most people are not wealthy. I think the White Guilt thing is rather overblown. History needs to be acknowledged, but no one is asking Whitey to start whipping themselves. Fixing systems which are still unequal, yes.
got confused at the 2minute mark…did you & scales get him down for a future interview, secretly miked-up? will review the stills/gotta find the bathrooms…and repair limp bidets…
What’s the point of that pool if it can’t be skated when it’s drained?!?!
The deal’s off for me, as it should for anyone. Fuck that house.
No skateable pool, then literally NO POINT to it being there.
Burn it down and start again.
Sunday? Pretty much every afternoon.
Standard Safety 4.1.2
PIPE AND VESSEL PURGING PROCEDURE
INTRODUCTION
Purging is the process of voiding a line or vessel of a combustible gas or air and replacing with an inert gas or other gases. Steam can also be used, where available, as an effective clearing/purging agent.
Purging operations are used either to clear in-service lines of hydrocarbons or for commissioning open lines to evacuate the oxygen prior to introducing hydrocarbons. The most appropriate method should be chosen from those described below, consistent with the Precautions.
METHODS OF APPLICATION
1. Pressurization Purging (Blowdown): Introduce a purge gas to increase system pressure to 15 psig, followed by depressurization to the atmosphere. A minimum of four pressure-depressure cycles at 15 psig will be required to purge a vessel at atmospheric pressure. The pressurization purge method is considered superior to other purge methods. If a system filled with a combustible liquid needs to be emptied and then purged, a purge gas may be applied to the vapor space at a pressure consistent with equipment design limitations. This procedure thus empties the vessel and purges the vapor space in the same process. Examples: pressure vessels, manifolds and entire plant or platform process systems.
2. Displacement Purging (Slug): Introducing an inert purge gas until a buffer or separation zone is established, followed by the introduction of a chase gas of a different type. In-service hydrocarbon gas might be purged by an inert gas slug followed by compressed air. A line that has been opened to air can be purged with an inert gas slug that is followed by natural gas. The slug must be of sufficient volume to prevent the original and chase gas from mixing. Slow flow rates are used for the inert gas slug and the first portion of the chase gas. The flow rate can then be increased for the remaining chase gas. The flow rate can then be increased for the remaining chase gas if laminar flow is maintained to avoid mixing. Example: pipelines.
3. Dilution Purging (Sweep-Through): Introducing a purge gas at one opening and letting the system contents escape through another opening at the opposite end of the system. This is the least economical method. Consider siphon purging for weak walled vessels or pressurization purging for pressure vessels. Examples: weak-wall vessels, produced water tanks.
Nothing like a decent purge, the world needs more of it.
Questions in need of Answers….
Why do humans wave at passing trains?
How is it that Dereks favorite actor is just 35? Wasnt he starring in movies inthe 90’s? Leo is pushing 50, did Jonah begin A list movies at 10?
meanwhile, somewhere in or around OKhoma…where the original bidet was engineered!
https://youtu.be/H8yez99Rrkc
And that’s something to complain about?
Ok, just trying to keep things in perspective here, there are still literally people (kids too), starving to death every day, in the world somewhere.
We are all totally Blessed living just about anywhere in the free world and being within driving minutes to the beach and Ocean.
Give back and help others not so fortunate, and you’ll feel even more Blessed.
As for this Jonah cat, well, hope he’s giving back too.
I for one, even with my fair share of problems, feel blessed.
Kids and People. I learnt something today.
Blessed: used in mild expressions of annoyance or exasperation
Is this the definition you were going for?
You lost me at ‘There are still literally people.’
Well that’s their fault for not being rich white men. God is clearly punishing them for not being thus.
Or an unusually attractive relatively pale-skinned female willing to display their body for financial reward. They are Holy too.
Oh and they’re born now. You see?
Once you’re out breathing in the world and you aren’t a rich white man (or an unusually attractive relatively pale-skinned female willing to display her body for financial reward) then FUCK YOU.
Being born into a wealthy family also is Holy, but unless you are a white man, or an attractive female, or merely willing to be as cutthroat as possible, then God says that you are scum.
I don’t make the rules.
Your mind is quite the punish.
Prayin for you, cracker
I agree Sam, I’m thankful for the life I’ve been gifted and am working hard not to waste it
Word has it he continues to purchase beach front property so that he can slowly eliminate the need to go to that Beverly Hills salon to get that beach bum bleached chic look. The goal is to have a seamless transition.
Think I have a new favorite weather girl
Meteorologist
hispanic sydney sweeney: “show me more money!” muéstrame más dinero
crowd: “SHOW US YOUR TITS!” muéstrame más pechos
Dude you see the weather girl evenings on the SLO feeds?
Holy shit is she gorg.
my antennae range only goes as far north as KEYT…feed me!
weather bunny
Weird ass spot to have a house. Right on the road and pretty exposed in terms of privacy. I think Dez and Chas should go stand outside the wall with JH memorabilia, hopping up and down like school girls hoping for and autograph.
And isn’t it a bit of a stretch to call that the south side of the bay?
I’m amazed that this would get planning permission in that location.
Different era when built I guess.
I’ll admit…I stare longingly at that beautiful house whilst sitting in traffic on my way Ehukai.
At least now I know to curse Jonah for owning it.
To Hill with him!
YES!
Might be time to become mates with Jonah Hill
Any universe that allows an average Joe like Jonah (with a wealthy show business accountant father who apparently had no influence on his children’s careers at all) to live unmolested in such surroundings (as well as be crowned the new king of Malibu) must not be real.
And that surely means that the hot tub on the deck is in fact an actual time machine that’s been used to change reality, and we’re in that unrealistic parallel universe right now.
Hopefully another spilt can of Chernobly will set things right again.
Or will Jonah win the next Eddie ?…
Don’t forget the CERN.
you mean the rabid particle stimulator, his lovely instructor?
Yep. In the end we are all just trying to stimulate some particles.
anti-beach limp!
Malibu died, February 1983, no more kings just court jesters
DDD
NOT TRUE I freinds with the owners and just got off the phone with them about this story. They had a good laugh
Jonah appears to have deleted his Instagram (a search for ‘Jonah’ only returns Jonathan Wayne freeman – ew) and his girlfriend who is a prolific poster hasn’t included him in any posts for nigh on 6 months. Not to tell you how to suck eggs but I feel you’re missing a bigger story here.
Think he got some slaps from Da Hui?