“One for ya, if you don’t already know – no one has stories yet anyway. Joe Carr – new CEO of Wozzle.”
This story might be called a mea culpa, an acknowledgement of a wrong or, better, a gilded post-modernist bomb, an expression of the post-truth era, a world where if you believe it to be true, it can be.
Just want it, say it, jerk it into being etc.
Last night, and twenty minutes before a dinner run by the city’s most elite hostess and marked by crimson faces and heaving sun-beaten bosoms, a usually impeccable source texted me:
“One for ya, if you don’t already know – no one has stories yet anyway. Joe Carr – new CEO of Wozzle.”
Instead of the usual rigours applied to such a big story, I found a press release with Joe Carr’s name, garlanded it with Lillies and a couple of lurid details and sent the story live, confident of a little kick in traffic through the night.
As the sun rose on America’s west coast, Chas Smith then sent an open invite to Joe Carr to appear on his hit YouTube show Chas Smith Hates Surfing.
Why should Joe Carr choose BeachGrit, asked Chas?
The facts show The Inertia is as irrelevant as it is embarrassing, Stab is openly collaborationist, hoping to be included in the Saudi buy, Surfer is robots and Surflineis already “an official partner” plus gripped by toxic monopolistic greed.
Today, and after a polite email from WSL co-founder Terry Hardy, it was revealed I got two small details of the story wrong.
One, Joe Carr hadn’t been appointed CEO of the WSL.
Two, the press release came from 2017 when Joe Carr became CSO of the WSL.
Obvs, a shame.
Joe Carr is a man ripe for the job, handsome with his earth face and marvellous eyes. Very alert by all accounts.
A subsequent call and text to source yielded this message,
“OS mate in the US. I hit him and he said that Joe (Carr) is working for Dirk directly. Overseeing all his surf biz stuff. So in one way it’s correct but it sounds like there will also be a direct CEO too. Too funny u ran a seven-year-old press release tho hahahahaha.”
As the expression goes, this is a developing story.
Hired and fired by BeachGrit in a matter of days. We know where the true power lies in surfing!
I think we will look back and miss ol Elo. I think it’s inclusive to have a CEO who looks like would hold you from behind, softly whispering his musky salsa and latte breath past our ears into our nostrils and psyche.
I think this whole debacle is shining some light on why the WSL is is such bad shape. This one guy has worked for WSL as both their president and their CSO, now rumoured to be the CEO, but is actually separately employed to oversee it all. How many fucking people are needed to steer this ship? How many competing voices are there. How many “Senior Vice President of Something or Other” types do you need? Not only does it eat up a shit tonne of money paying salaries to these wannabe executives, it’s clearly transpired as a lack of decisiveness.
Time to burn it down and rebuild it from the ground up (and for fucks sake, this time let’s listen to what Connor Coffin was trying to say).
Unfortunately, and more seriously, this casts real doubt over the alleged “dinner run by the city’s most elite hostess and marked by crimson faces and heaving sun-beaten bosoms”
JMD will be appointed CEO of the WSL, and Global Head of Cheesecake Testing.
Can only imagine the sand dunes that stomach has… hideous
I don’t come here to be informed or educated, I come here for entertainment. This is Beach Grits best work to date!
I don’t mind this turn of events at all. Got the enragement glands engorged about another saltless exec getting the gig then, as fingerbanger points out, you feel relief they haven’t made such a heinous call. Totally on-brand for the trashpalace that is Beachgrit and we all had a laugh. A
Love your continued commitment to leaving fuck-ups on the site unedited for everyone to enjoy, considering how much BG gets bashed for having a lack of integrity this always struck me as a thoroughly decent way of staying humble.
Keep up the work, including the fake news, it’s only surfing anyway.
Yep, the other surf sites would delete it. Gotta own your mistake and wear it like a crown.
Though occasionally they do get erased here too, probably so derek and chas dont get their asses sued.
🤣🤣🤣
such a
JokerJoecarrThank you ☺️
Xox
I was wondering about all of the old press releases. Really guys? Do what you berate Kelly about and just shut this sad shit show down. This is fucking sad.
Nah that’s no fun!
lol at David and Chas reading aloud the media release on the podcast, mentioning both Goldschmidt and the prep for the Tokyo 2020 games, but still not picking up on it.
Champagne work.
Who won pipeline?
Scrolled back through the stories but trail ended before any word.
The Girls!
I like it.
The macro perspective, an interesting new way of looking at the season.
Overall best surfing entertainment each stop.
Girls vs Boys
1 – 0
Looking forward to hopefully seeing Medina empower John in the Sunset final to hopefully level things up. Tally ho chaps.
*The Fucking Girls
I wondered why no one else was running this story
A wizard wheeze !
Hook line and sinker …
Because it’s of the genre of fiction?
This is actually great news. Apart from the hoodwinking you suffered the WSL doesn’t actually have a vampiric corporate wanker as it’s new CEO. There is still time to find a worse replacement!
To be fair to DR, the WSL just might be playing cheeky with the corporate shell game here.
The Association of Surfing Professionals, LLC’s (the WSL’s real corporate name) statement of information filed with the California Secretary of State on 12/23/23 lists Bob Kane (corporate counsel) as the CEO and “WSL Holdings, LLC” as the sole member. That statement of information was signed by Bob Kane
BUT…the statement information for WSL Holdings, LLC dated 12/7/23 (also signed by Bob Kane) is LISTING ERIK LOGAN as the CEO and sole member, nearly six months after he was canned as CEO of the subsidiary company.
So, is this just extremely sloppy lawyering? (btw Bob Kane, this means that Erik Logan STILL has the outward apparent authority to make deals on behalf of WSL Holdings, LLC)
Or, has this JoeCarr stepped into this role at WSL Holdings, LLC and the statement of information was knowingly filed with false information? (This would REALLY, REALLY not look good for you, Bob Kane, as in you’ve violated California Penal Code Section 115 and could lose your law license).
Or is Erik Logan actually still involved with the parent company (which would be absolutely insane, but I’m not putting it past these clowns)?
Perhaps less egg on the BG face as it would seem at first blush
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
That’s a spicy bit of information you have dug up. Shenanigan’s are afoot.
good work! I felt a warm glow when I read the ASP still exists, even if only on paper.
Source should have reached out to The Surf Journalist. No way he fumbles this between vodka-sodas.
But so does Chas! Deep and thick plot.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The new wsl board…serious someone rang me
Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story 👍🏽
Long ago when I worked for Surfer, an anonymous Christmas box of donuts arrived at the Surfer house on the North Shore during the Triple Crown. The Surfer staff ate em. And then came a photo with said donuts in butt cracks with the caption “Seasons Donuts from Surfing Magazine”. So damn glad I was in California for that episode. Chas and Derek got donutted.
I remember that.😂