Surfing’s youngest-ever world champ Caity Simmers hailed as “messiah of cool” after giving finger to rival in Finals Day outburst

New and possibly fatal crack in the WSL's wall of Positive Noise!

If there was any lingering doubt about the quantum leap in performance in women’s surfing this year, well, it sure was curb-stomped for good on Friday when Caity Simmers and Caroline Marks  delivered a three-heat performance for the ages.

Caity Simmers, the girl with skin like pastry crust left in the sun for a week, took every turn to the brink of disaster while Olympic gold medallist Caroline Marks invited favourable comparisons to the great Mark Occhilupo, even if the red bikini-swathed Jen See labelled her surfing, incorrectly I felt, as “overscored and mentronomic.

But new world champ Caity Simmers, who at eighteen years and 316 days became the youngest world surfing champ in history, has thrilled surf fans tired of the “toddler-friendly” WSL by giving her opponent the finger at the conclusion of the first of their best-of-three heats.

Here’s the play:

The camera is on Caroline’s final wave – which she claims with a cutesy little dancey bit. Then, it swings direct onto Caity Simmers. And she’s givin’ the finger. The girl commentator laughs, “There’s Caity just getting the jetski ride.” Which makes it even funnier! Caity’s also funny because she does it with her right hand, then with her left, is like, wait, don’t do that. Ha!

Caroline’s score hasn’t dropped yet. Caity’s had already come in, it’s an 8.3 which betters her total. So, I think not the judges getting the finger. Also, there’s that bit in her post-heat inty, where she’s, like, “She fucking wins everything” about Caro. So, feisty!

Caity Simmers’ “Pipeline for the fucking girls” moment, oft incorrectly taken as “Pipeline is for the fucking girls” was a window into her Miki Dora-esque mindset and which kicked off her credentials as the messiah of cool.

This cements it.

I think you’ll agree. Yes?

Heat Analyzer - Lexus WSL Finals 2024
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justiceminister
justiceminister
2 years ago

Marks out of 10. Two says Simmo. But they are good friends informs Turpentine. BS streaking down the line. No mates at this level get real lads and lassies.

k55
k55
2 years ago

Can I get a T-shirt of that?

channelbottom
channelbottom
2 years ago

Goldfingers
With the Midas touch.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

how fun it would be to see Caity become the new “Bad Boy” of pro surfing.
Caity and opponent paddeling for wave, they both miss it and as the wave passes and blocks the view of the judges/cameras, Caity hauls off and bitch slaps her opponent saying: “when I paddle….you don’t”.

AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
2 years ago

She’s the best thing that ever happened to pro surfing!!

Yomar
Yomar
2 years ago

her and erin brooks and sierra kerr – so much to look forward to as far as girl surfing goes.

ShauninParadise
ShauninParadise
2 years ago

Coolest surfer in a long long while. I hope she goes through a rager phase and still wins anything she enters.

RQ.
RQ.
2 years ago

thought i saw that.

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
2 years ago
Reply to  RQ.

yeah, me too.

classic Caity.

RQ.
RQ.
2 years ago

I’d love to know what the animosity is about. Only other time i’ve seen it in a heat was when Joel Parko flipped one at slater.

longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
longtomssecondcuztwiceremoved
2 years ago
Reply to  RQ.

I read it as a pre-emptive strike against the judges giving Caz a huge overscore for a million repetitive backside safety turns.

@surfads
@surfads
2 years ago

Imagine Erin Brooks doing it. A thousand rosemaries.

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

Or Bethany, the same. But she only can use just one middle finger.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago
Reply to  @surfads

She does it to you every post heat presser.

snapper
snapper
2 years ago

#doralives
#AIlives
#sunnylives

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago

yes but would she compete against our Sasha , in a transbender winner takes all??

Noncompetitor
Noncompetitor
2 years ago

I like when the punks beat the jocks

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
2 years ago

This is how Mask becomes acceptable,….it’s like riding to school with a biker gang.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
2 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn
Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
2 years ago

Coolest.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago

Cazza was ripping all day!!

Huckleberry
Huckleberry
2 years ago

Yep, she cool.

Sit down to pee
Sit down to pee
2 years ago

I want to know what the Ambassador of Stoke and Leisure is up to these days


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