Kelly Slater’s young son forced to remain nameless as surf great continues his “best life tour!”

"A little UT-Georgia pre-game golf with these beauties."

So there I was, last evening, alongside much of these great United States tuning into the SEC powerhouse matchup betwixt Texas, the number one team, and Georgia, number five. 102,000 passionate boosters filled Darrel K. Royal stadium, there in Austin, most in burnt orange. The announcers Rece Davis and Kirk Herbstreit describing the scene while the camera panned the sidelines.

Many celebrities here,” Davis intoned as it rested on big Texas booster Matthew McConaughey. And there’s the surf guy,” as it rested on one Kelly Slater.

“Look at that,” I thought to myself, before immediately considering the plight of his freshly-ish born son.

But you certainly recall when the 11x world surfing champion and his longtime girlfriend, Kalani Miller, announced that they had welcomed a bundle of joy into this earthly plane. Slater, 56 and a becoming a father for the second time, sat down with Barton Lynch soon after the happy event and shared, “We got a little boy and my friends think we’re playing a game with him, because we haven’t said the name. Because we actually, we don’t actually don’t call him anything. We gave him a name for his birth certificate, but, as of now, we don’t have a name to call him. So, we’re kind of just, like, letting him figure out what his personality is.”

Well, ________ seems like he’s going to be ________ for the foreseeable future as Slater is truly on his “best life tour.” From Roman fancy watch boutiques to the green golf links of Scotland down to Austin, Texas and football and more golf with disgraced bicycle rider Lance Armstrong, the surf guy is making the rigorous schedule of the World Surf League Championship Tour look like a weekend getaway.

________ trying to “figure out what his personality is” all alone.

If the boy happens to be included in the aforementioned best life tour, Airline Status Slater might be a fine name. If he is not, Emotionally Scarred Slater could work.

Do you have any thoughts?