“Let us know if Harry can ever put on his big boy britches and make it into the ocean.”
It was the section of the Slater pool that wrenched the ball of Chas Smith’s shoulder out of the glenoid cavity, a hard-breaking wall of water that folds onto itself allowing thrill seekers the opportunity to ride a once-in-a-lifetime barrel one hundred miles from the Pacific.
Recently, Prince Harry, the exiled tough-as-nails royal who bravely slaughtered twenty-five Taliban from his helicopter turret during his tour of Afghanistan, and which was revealed in his best-selling memoir Spare, made a third trip, I think it is, to the Kelly Slater wave pool in Lemoore, California.
And it was here, on the very section that put Chas Smith out of order for six months, that Prince Harry slew the dragon.
View this post on Instagram
Cause for much celebration, you would think, one of the world’s great elites joining our unique band of cutthroats and ne’er-do-wells.
Well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or a man with a keyboard and a data connection. For within minutes, the online world was alight with button-pushers trolling our Prince.
“Eco-Warrior Harry, who lives on the Californian coast, drives inland to an artificial surf school that uses vast amounts of vast amounts of energy to create waves.”
“That’s not surfing, that’s simply cruising on a man made wave machine.”
“Its a surfing compound miles away from the actual beach.”
“It’s in Central California. He’s nowhere near a beach!”
“Wow surfing a three foot artificial wave. Awesome dude!”
“My god, it’s not like he’s actually surfing, those are man made waves.”
“You can think you’re surfing, but until you get out there in the real ocean and eat some sand or get have the threat of the board hitting you in the head when the wave doesn’t go the way you think it should, forget it.’”
“You’re in the kiddie pool.”
“Surfing is fine. That’s a big thing in California. But it’s presented as ‘an important message’ which it is not.”
“Harry looks to be just a beginner since he can’t stand and balance well.. and apparently can’t surf in the ocean.”
It might be newsworthy if he were at Big Sur and actually surfing in the ocean catching some big waves!
Tough crowd etc.
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
At least it’s more sanitary than the Carpinteria waste water treatment plant runoff at Rincon 💩
I want to see Meghan drop in on him and stuff him.
Sprechen sie douche…
I must be getting soft because all the comments so far have been on point and clever. You lot are smarter than you look 🙂
when is Com heading to the new VB tub???
buddy posted a clip of himself in a little barrel there over the weekend, dare I say it looks entertaining
“Hell hath no fury like ….a man with a keyboard and data connection.”
Another golden maxim from the ages of wisdom
Hey Harry… You suck! Ya jack-ass!
The Firm in full effect
Jees tough crowd alright .give him a break…dunno about the leggie though…
More importantly. you ever buy any of them Temu FCS II knockoffs?
Ayyyyy. I bought one set a few years ago. Was the timeless, K2.1, 5-fin set. I was angry when I did my most Barnylicious entry ever …at feckin Burleigh of all places. My kookiest entry ever (possibly second) and broke a fin. FB marketplace didn’t help me to replace the side fin so I wasn’t a whole Barney until I got the Temu 5-fin set at 1/2 the price of 5 fins
The 4 fins are in a C.I quad and the lonely middle fin gathers dust in drawer. They work well, as far as I can tell. No complaints at all
I lost a half-decent left Ali Express fin on the rocks the other day.
24$ Gutted.
Oh she was branded.
Aleast she didnt need a lime squeezer on her dial
I do like the revisionist, post-mod creativity in this comment, use of fairytale at end etc.
This is the only social media site I’m on and I appreciate the quotes.
Same, but ive been told that if ur under 30 with no socials ur classified a suss cunt weirdo.
thank god 30 is way in the rearview
And that judgement is .made by employers, and chicks, i rekon i woulda still scored though, its 3 easy steps. My boy allready knows them
yea, there was no need for you to create all those handles and lash out like that, Chas.
I’ll say it again, no fucking way he made it out of that first one.
Some not so clever editing going on there
Kiddie pool that nearly killed our beloved principle
Thank gawd he survived.
So many prayers in my heart as I watched unfold.