Vanity Fair does "our new class of leading men" dirty.
It is the day after Christmas, in the northern hemisphere. That time of year when laziness is leaned right into, unless one happens to be a postal worker, fireman, medic or some other valuable-to-humanity class like surf journalist.
Surf don’t sleep, as they say, and so I woke, at some point, knowing the burden of providing a surf-adjacent story that you, here, could really sink teeth into.
Alas. I had to keep up an Ironman podcast run with David Lee Scales, number 352, almost one whole calendar year of Grit. On this episode, we discussed the humorlessness of Kelly Slater and the genius of Joel Tudor alongside the best way to cook prime rib and, also, the best way to enjoy.
Afterwards, I took a pre-rain beach walk to drink lunch martinis with the wife at the local Chart House. There was a stand-up paddleboarder out at Cardiff reef, sans wetsuit, getting hammered by storm lumps and it was the first time in my life that I ever gave one of those bastards credit.
Basically naked, he was sending.
We next walked to the local market to get the ingredients for a salad Niçoise post-Christmas dinner and this is where I saw it, upon checkout.
The cover of the latest Vanity Fair featuring the hottest bros, currently, in entertainment. Jeremy Allen White, A$AP Rocky, Glen Powell and two others dressed in tuxes, pants rolled up, standing barefoot on the beach (save A$AP Rocky who was very smart and wore black socks).
I studied their hoofs and thought “Miserable. None of these bros surf.
A surfer’s feet, sandy, are a fine enough thing. I’ve seen many and rarely recoil. These Hollywood feet, though, a complete yuck.
Pasty, splayed, stupid.
Study the above image.
It made me low key hate all of them and also made me appreciate the little things that surfing gifts us, you and I.
We can take our shoes off, publicly, at the beach and be alright.
A small holiday season gift for us.
Enjoy.
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Not one one comment about the author’s foot fetish!
This is the kind of true surf journalism we need, that effing hack who thinks SA is excusable needs to go the eff away
Wonder what those ‘honours’ they’re wearing are all about.
Participation trophies?
Looks like fancy dress-up dollies.
Sad.
Ive got a rainbow sandal tan line on my feet most of the year.
Did Monty buy whatever there is to buy at BG? Would explain a lot.
Chas, what does your wife think about Monty the rape apologist? Asking for some friends.
What am I enjoying?
Chas & Derek while Monty takes the reins over the Xmas break. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Hahahahahahahaha fucking oath
part of me thinks this is just DR teaching us a lesson for all the whinging over his and Chas’s customary posts, and reminding us that it could be much, much worse
6 – 7
Love how all their photos are Long Ago Days Goneby
Until our ol pal DR shows up unkempt on Sky?
Cooked a 18lb prime rib for X-Mas Eve (double seared) expecting 30 guests. SoCal weather kept everyone at home except for 6 people. I’ll be eating leftovers and drinking holiday beer well into January.
the other 24 guests thankful for the weather.
it’s a better excuse for bailing than I’ve received in prior years. family is complicated
I usually invite everyone on the list…then right before, text all of em and tell them some crazy catastrophic thing has occurred, so they don’t show but I still get the sympathy.
Just mean for the sake of being mean. Or Republican
sake of.
republicans are pussies who like getting spanked by democrats.
Only three more Christmases for your shot at the belt champ
I have no idea what you are talking about…..champ
oh come on now dear Hippy. If Camper can’t give me that kind of shit, idk what the hell we are doing here below the line
exxxxxxxx….actly!
hope you had a very Merry Christmas despite the foul weather.
I’ll be in OC next summer. let’s plan on a beer.
Beers at Tower 9!
Can you mail me some please?
hell, at this rate, you and your clan can just come out to Orange County next X-Mas and I’ll feed you and get you drunk
Maybe I could just start paddling over now.
I mean… how long could it take?
A couple of weeks?
That’s what, 10 bones???
I’ve smoked a few up to 5 pounds.