Surf fans (pictured) ready for '26!
Surf fans (pictured) ready for '26!

World Surf League drops ’26 Championship Tour schedule!

"With the updated formats, we’ll see higher stakes from day one, with every heat carrying real consequence throughout the season."

The 2025 World Surf League Championship Tour is not yet over. Teahupo’o is the only event remaining before the “Final Five” head to Fiji to battle for the crown. Exciting days ahead for all, save Filipe Toledo, surf fans licking chops in anticipation. The World Surf League, though, added even more excitement with a delicious hors d’oeuvres. The official ’26 CT schedule.

Per the presser:

Today, the World Surf League (WSL) released the schedule for the 2026 Championship Tour (CT) and shared the new event formats. Marking the 50th year of professional surfing, the combined men’s and women’s calendar, which includes an increased women’s field, will feature 12 events in total. Nine regular-season stops and two postseason events will culminate in a revitalized Pipe Masters that will close the season with a high-stakes, all-inclusive finale.

“These changes reflect our commitment to honoring surfing’s legacy while continuing to shape its future as the sport enters its 50th year,” said Ryan Crosby, WSL CEO. “With the updated formats, we’ll see higher stakes from day one, with every heat carrying real consequence throughout the season. Combined with iconic locations, the expanded women’s field, and Pipeline as the pinnacle, we’re building a Tour that better serves our athletes and fans, and leads the sport into its next chapter.”

2026 Championship Tour Schedule

Stop No. 1 – Bells Beach, Victoria, Australia: April 1 – 11
Stop No. 2 – Margaret River, Western Australia, Australia: April 17 – 27
Stop No. 3 – Snapper Rocks, Queensland, Australia: May 2 – 12
Stop No. 4 – Punta Roca, El Salvador: May 28 – June 7
Stop No. 5 – Saquarema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil: June 12 – 20
Stop No. 6 – Jeffreys Bay, South Africa: July 10 – 20
Stop No. 7 – Teahupo’o, Tahiti, French Polynesia: August 8 – 18
Stop No. 8 – Cloudbreak, Fiji: August 25 – September 4
Stop No. 9 – Lower Trestles, San Clemente, Calif., USA: September 11 – 20*
Stop No. 10 – Surf Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi, UAE: October 14 – 18**
Stop No. 11 – Peniche, Portugal: October 22 – November 1
Stop No. 12 – Banzai Pipeline, Hawaiʻi, USA: December 8 – 20***

*Last regular-season event
**Start of postseason, reduced field
**Full CT fields rejoin postseason surfers to compete for Pipe Masters Titles

Thoughts?

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Joe Turpel and his lady.
Joe Turpel and his lady.

“Voice of surfing” Joe Turpel wins Emmy for outstanding broadcasting!

He's number 1!

Surf fans around the world are standing, as one, and applauding as the much-beloved World Surf League broadcaster Joe Turpel claimed a Sports Emmy Award from the National Academy Television Arts and Sciences. The 46th running of the event was held, in person, at the Jazz at Lincoln Center’s Frederick P. Rose Hall in New York City on May 20th.

Surf fans have, of course, long swooned to Turpel’s velvety pipes as he calls most of the World Surf League Championship Series events alongside the likes of Jesse Mendes, Mitch Saladbar, Molly Picklum, Ronald Blakey, Strider Wasilewski, Rosy Hodge and others.

Non-surf fans got a sampling of the brunette’s wit and charm as part of this past summer’s Paris Games wherein Turpel called the surf action from Tahiti.

The “Games of the XXXIII Olympiad (NBC / Peacock)” were the big Emmy winners, taking home 10 wins in total, including: Outstanding Live Sports Special – Championship Event, Outstanding Open/Tease and Outstanding Interactive Experience among others.

Turpel’s golden statuette reads, “2024-2025 Sports Emmy Awards Outstanding Live Special – Championship. Games of the XXXIII Olympiad NBC-Peacock Joe Turpel Play-by-Play.”

I was very pleased that Turpel beat all-comers over all sports, a win for surfing, but double checked the Sports Emmy winning list and discovered Joe Davis, from Fox, won “Outstanding Personality/ Play-by-Play” for his baseball calls.

I further learned that NBC hired over 150 play-by-play commentators for the ’24 Games.

Still, 1 of 150 ain’t bad and do you have a Sports Emmy?

Then shut up.

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Makua Rothman talks pills and big-wave surfing.
Makua Rothman talks pills and big-wave surfing.

“I would go out to Jaws with pills, crush ‘em up, snort ‘em, and go back surfing Jaws”

Big-wave world champ Makua Rothman on his three wild years living hard in the fast lane.

The big-wave world champ, best-selling minstrel and scion of North Shore strongman Fast Eddie, Mr Makua Rothman, has proved to be his usual candid self on a podcast with the Narrabeen surfer Cooper Chapman, a former pro whose sister, Chloe, is the wife and baby mama of DJ Fisher.

Makua Rothman, who is forty-one, was last seen on these pages when he had a swing at local government following the collapse in governmental trust during the Covid  hellshow.

Makua Rothman tells Chapman,

“Between 2015 and 2018, I really went off the rails. I really did a lot of detrimental things to my health. I’d do pills, and be off them on a blocker when I’d compete. It’s wild when I think about what I could have done if I had the mindset that I did previously, or what I have now. I was still good enough to win a world championship, even in that mind space.”

His drug of choice, mostly, was the now infamous Oxycodone, the same doctor-prescribed drug that took down a generation of Hawaiian surfers.

“The worst part about is that I just thought it was cool. I didn’t have any pain. I wasn’t coming from an injury. A lot of people get prescribed them from an injury, and unfortunately, they can’t get off them. For me, that dopamine hit really took away the things I didn’t like about myself. It was the solution to my problem. The pills weren’t the problem; I had an underlying mental health problem of shame, guilt, and I wasn’t man enough to take responsibility for them. I masked them with alcohol. It was cocaine. It was all the above.”

“I’m lucky I’m not dead. I’ve competed and surfed in the biggest waves. I would go out to Jaws with pills in a pill container, crush ‘em up, snort ‘em, and go back surfing Jaws. I’m just blessed I didn’t drown. I eventually had a moment where I was done. I really wanted to live. I was ready to become Makua again.”

 

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I do remember the arrival of opiates to the mainstream vividly. It was 2005 and a one-time pro gave me a morphine tablet, he had several bottles following a knee injury, at a surf industry party. I enjoyed the feeling immensely and followed up, god I don’t know, maybe fifty times afterwards although when they became de rigueur at every event, including children’s birthday parties and before surf in even middling waves, I grabbed my coat, as they say, and left it to the playboys, many of whom still chase that only slightly neutered dragon. 

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Novelty wave hero Ben Gravy (pictured) depressed about no love motels for him in Brazil.
Novelty wave hero Ben Gravy (pictured) depressed about no love motels for him in Brazil.

Novelty wave aficionados pushed out of Brazil’s love motels as environmental activists move in

United Nations climate summit turning into a disaster for surfers.

Surfing’s novelty wave boom shows zero signs of slowing down. Once confined to the ocean, and its swells, forward-thinking pioneers like Ben Gravy decided, like Jeep, that the world could be surfed and brought the Sport of Kings to wakes, ripples, rivers and lakes around the globe.

One of the most inspirational novelty waves is the fabled tidal bore. In surf-mad Brazil, these are called Pororoca waves and occur at the convergence point of fresh water from the Amazon River and the saltwater of the Atlantic Ocean mostly around the northern city of Belem.

Yes, novelty wavers come from near and far to experience but this year are being forced out of traditional accommodations by dastardly environmental activists.

Brazil, you see, is hosting the United Nations climate summit, known as COP30, after three years where the conference of world leaders tackling global warming was held in countries without full freedom for public demonstrations, according to Reuters. “But the so-called “People’s COP” may not be as welcoming as they hoped,” the news service continues.

There are simply not enough hotel rooms in the city leaving a scramble for places for hippies to lay their heads.

One of the solutions?

Turning the “love motels” favored by the Ben Gravy-adjacents into regular hotels. “Love motels that usually rent rooms by the hour are being advertised as options for full national delegations,” Reuters continues. “Yorann Costa, the owner of Motel Secreto, said he can tone down the “more sensual mood” of his establishment by removing erotic chairs. “But the poles, for example, I can’t take out,” he said, adding that the ceiling mirrors would also have to stay.”

Argh.

Now let’s turn our collective attention back to the US Open of Surfing. I think the longboard is back on today.

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Barton Lynch sexually assaulted while hitching as a teen.

World champion surfer sexually assaulted while hitchhiking

"I look over and he's whipped his penis out and he's driving me along to the beach masturbating alongside a kid in a school uniform.”

The 1988 world champion of surfing, Barton Lynch, more known in recent epochs for his oratorical gymkhanas on WSL broadcasts and for a brief and misunderstood exploration of Marxism, has revealed a wild story of hitching a ride to the beach with a pedophile when he was a kid.

The almost sixty two year old, which places the story sometime in the mid-seventies, back when hitchers mysteriously vanished every other day, tells the story on his Stoked Bloke podcast, which he shares with influential surf personality and Kelly Slater bandmate Peter King.

 

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Without any unnecessary gilding of the lily, as they say, Barton says the man jerked out his wand while driving and throttled the hell out of it while little BL watched

He explains,

I’ve been there an hour-and-a-half on the side of the road. Three buses, they go every half-hour. And the car pulls up. I jump in, Manly please, and we’re driving along and the next thing you know I see out of my periphery, I can see this sort of uncomfortable movement.

“And I look over and he’s whipped his penis out and he’s driving me along to the beach masturbating alongside a kid in a school uniform.”

Here, Barton Lynch departs, briefly, from his Stoked Bloke persona.

“That filthy fucker, excuse my French, oh my god that’s the reality mate. I’ve had some extremely radical stories in my life.”

Comments revealed he ain’t the only kid to get haunted by what used to be called pedophiles but which now has been helpfully renamed MAPs or Minor Attracted Persons, the Canadian brain scientist James Cantor suggesting the letter P added to LGBTQ2S+.

From Walrus Cantor interview,

“These people are saddled with a sexual orientation that they can’t express in any way, and Lord knows there is nothing more powerful than a man’s sex drive.” Pedophiles, he says, experience desire, affection, and heartbreak as strongly as anybody else. “It is a deep, dark, long-lasting ache, and they can’t tell a soul.”

Also, while we’re on the subject, Azalia Banks just dropped, and then deleted, this wild tweet.

Azealia banks tweet about underage sex, now deleted.
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