Holly-Daze, Ruby-Lee and Bonnie-Lou too.
The spring sun is rising down under, in a handful of hours. The birds will chirp, the cats will stretch, the dogs will scratch at the door, the busses will leave the station, the drag queens will remove last night’s make-up, the parents will begin preparing breakfast for sleepy children and the sleepy children will wake thoroughly depressed.
An Ellie-Jean Coffey-sized hole in hearts.
They will not be allowed to fill it with Holly-Daze, Ruby-Lee or Bonnie-Lou. They will not be allowed to fill it with Alana Blanchard nor her husband Jack Freestone nor their idyllic lifestyle. They will not be allowed to fill it with Ben Gravy. They will not be allowed to fill it with Kelly Slater nor his vicious take-downs of sportos, motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies and dickheads.
For Australia, you see, is the first country in the world to ban social media for those under sixteen years of age.
The government made the controversial ruling after a study found that 96% of Australian children aged 10-15 use social media, 70% of them exposed to harmful content and behavior/the Coffey Sisters.
Half reported being the victim of cyberbullying. One in seven to “grooming-type” behavior from adults.
Ellie-Jean Coffey set to lose followers
Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Threads, TikTok, X, YouTube, Reddit, Kick and Twitch will all be shut down. Fines of up to $49.5 million Australian Dollars served up to the social media platforms for non-compliance.
Meta released a statement declaring it, “will begin blocking new under-16 accounts and revoking existing access from 4 December, expecting to remove all known under-16s by 10 December.
There are an estimated 350,000 Instagram accounts, most of which follow Ellie-Jean Coffey, and 150,000 Facebook accounts held by Australian youngsters.
What the heck are they doing on Facebook?
Critics argue that it will be very difficult to police, the fines are too small and even if it can be implemented, won’t solve the problem as gaming platforms, AI chatbots and dating websites are exempt.
What the heck are they doing on dating websites?
Communications Minister Annika Wells admitted that the ban was not perfect, adding, “It’s going to look a bit untidy on the way through. Big reforms always do.”
Little consolation for tweens needing their Coffey.
Dark days down under.
Enjoy while you still can.
The social media ban isn’t about safety.
All tourists back here now and borders open- you can relax. Covid is over mate.
I guess we will see what happens next pandemic.
And people mostly free (for now) to write what they want on the internet and think their own thoughts. At least in this country.
Agree the powerful have mostly screwed over the weak- but this period in history is probably the freest one that has ever existed.
Peasants like me can live a life of unimaginable richness without being born into money.
Probably an inherent state of nature though- just spend some time observing chickens and you’ll see it in action.
Here at the Jersey Shore, the poster child for Ugly American, I believe the 16 and unders would be relatively fine with this social media ban… Put the same ban for adults/parents… and heads would absolutely explode.
I can guarantee that it’s not for the good of the youth. The government must feel they are losing control of the narrative. Isreal comes to mind.
Look up ” Pegasus” software. Gives you an idea of what you’re dealing with. ( if you don’t know already…)
Yeah probs.
Not paranoia if it comes true. If it doesn’t time to update the map.
Pretty sure you thought we’d be balls deep in One World Govt by now and we’d be locked away forever.
That does seem a little outlandish to me but no skin off my nose what you think.
It’s a free country.
Hard to say- for uncrowded surfs at the point and sleeping in my own bed, probs forever.
much cheaper than going OS.
Me and my buddies- fuk it was good- like going back in time 50 years except with modern surfboards.
Looking around for people to paddle out with when bait balls in the line-up.
Doubt I’ll get to experience that again in my lifetime.
didn’t say they are not friendly, happy and vivacious….just like every stripper on a stage. they love the heck out of ya’ until your wad of cash is gone. who’s not?
imagine the Coffey girls peddling their only fans are the same way, just on a large scale…….but they still have vacant faces.
best year of my life here mate- QLD border shut, tourists barred and the Point pumped relentlessly with an all-time sandbar.
Wish we could do it every year- maybe start with a 3 month closure and see how we go.
….while living on the dole.
I still worked the whole time, essential worker bruz.
Sex Worker?
skimpies, best aussie invention of all time.
Well they can still look at BeachGrit. Even a six year old can look at BeachGrit.
Tor…VPN…new circuit…hey presto back on tiktok…upload ” stab stab” video
Yeah but no 6 year old wants to be caught red handed reading through grandpa’s website
Or RedTube!
Hope Sasha Lowerson won’t be affected…
Aussie kids won’t grow up in a wholesome, well-balanced media environment if they don’t have access to Ellie-Jean giving a crocodile a golden shower of her warm urine or a clip of her struggling to penetrate herself with a massive vibrating black plastic dildo –
And Brutus supports it 100%
inb4 the usual bootlickers pop in to lecture everyone on why the ever increasing government control of everything is “a good thing, ackshually”
Those chicks are an American 5.
And that’s before you have to hear them talk.
Quiet piggy!!
Only three more years!
3 years 2 months
7 yrs. 2 months
calm down you lying, dog-faced pony soldier
He was surprisingly sane today with Mondani. Not sure what going on.
who’s Mondani? you mean Mamdani?
Mamdani is scared shitless. he’s so far in in over his head and knows it.
That’s why he requested a meeting with The King.
Hot Pig women?
If you’re wearing Beer Goggles
very strange looking girls. freaky eyes and vacant faces
Yeh they ain’t that good but carn Sean out of ten you’d still give em one
Aussie 3s
Considering most aspiring young surfers start with parent ran accounts when they’re like 8 nowadays it going to catch a lot of them out
YouTube parents freaking out, move to America please!
Fuck no. Please no.
They can always peruse online images of Sarah Brady as her and Ellie Jean are pretty much twins these days.
And maybe one of them can take Holly Daze out for a burger or breakfast burrito. She looks like she could use a meal or two.
You know a lot about this….