All those colors and arrows pointed right at California. Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever, he can feel it.
Surf is coming.
Surfline Man doesn’t really know where the waves come from — I mean, really, who does — but he knows what the graphs and charts tell him. Waves! Waves are coming.
An unsinkable optimism buoys him. He is certain that the forecasts would never lie.
It’ll be a day like no other.
But first he has to get ready.
The first winter swell of the season is coming straight at him, and he isn’t even prepared for it at all.
Surfline Man has so much to do!
To begin with, the Sprinter needs washing. There’s no way he can drive to the first winter swell of the season in a dirty van. It would be totally bad luck like breaking a mirror or some other bad luck thing. Surfline Man is pretty sure he will never get a set wave unless the Sprinter is sparkling clean.
When he wakes up on Monday, there’s no surf, which is sad. But Surfline Man is not going to let this disappointment get him down. Instead, he puts on his favorite Hurley boardies and spends Monday morning washing the Sprinter from top to bottom. He even adds a coat of wax for good measure.
The Sprinter shines so good he can see his face in it. The new beard is looking super stylish, he feels. He will for sure get a set wave now.
Puttering around in his garage, Surfline Man scans his tidy stacks of surf wax. Horrified, he realizes that he has no cold water wax at all. None! He can not surf the first winter swell of the season on warm water wax. This would break all the most important rules.
Surfline Man whips out his new iPhone 12 Max and adds “cold water wax” to his shopping list. Better stop by REI and pick up some fresh Mac and Cheese packets to stash in the Sprinter, too. It’s good to be prepared.
Back inside, Surfline Man sits down his computer for some serious analysis. Working the angles, scrutinizing the tides, you know, surf forecasting stuff. Where should he go for the first winter swell of the season? He has some hard decisions to make.
dude, where are you surfing next week, he texts his best friend
idk, hadn’t thought about it
are there waves coming
yah brah solid northwest on the way
i think i’m going to rincon
surfline says it’ll be good
want to come with?
plenty of room i’m taking the sprinter
oh god i hate that place no way
it’ll be so fucking crowded man
probs just get some waves around here
Surfline Man can’t be bothered with this sort of defeatism. Think positive! He’s pretty sure he saw that on the lululemon bag, where his new clothes still sit, tags still affixed. Maybe it’s not too late to return them.
Anyway, he has a turquoise CI midlength now, so he’s going to get waves no matter what. Surfline Man knows he would so totally get the worst FOMO ever if he didn’t go to Rincon.
The night before the first winter swell of the season arrives, Surfline Man meticulously packs his boards in the Sprinter. He wraps his sparkling midlength in a blanket. What if there’s a pothole? What if his precious midlength gets a ding in it? He would never be able to match the resin tint. It would be so totally ruined.
Then he stacks a fish (6’0”) and three thrusters (6’0”, 6’ 2 1/2”, and 6’ 7”) on top. Fins. Leashes. Three wetsuits. Rinse kit. Coffee grinder. Aeropress. Mac and Cheese. Microwave burritos. Whiskey. Surfline Man firmly believes in covering all his bases.
The van packed, Surfline Man returns to his computer.
Gotta check the forecast one last time. Maybe it’s changed!
But no, it’s all looking so good. All those colors and arrows pointed right at California. Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever, he can feel it.
Surfline Man can barely sleep. It’s like Christmas! The first winter swell of the season! He can’t even wait.
(Part Two tomorrow!)
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Surfline man is definitely from Cardiff…. the whole DM t0 Leucadia zone has gone to the kooky sprinter van types. More money to buy more gadgets and surf craft that any adult learner kook can feel like a hero on. Too bad localism is dead cause a good ass whooping or bitch slap would make most of them decide surfing is too dangerous and they could go back to the yoga class or hiking. BRING BACK HARDCORE LOCALS !!!
How do we run Surfline out of business? Or do we all ride elf shoes for the next year to trick the Val’s into not enjoying surfing like they did in the early 90’s. Or do we let localism run wild for a bit and bully Val’s out of the water? Ban soft tops of all kind, not just wavestorms? Start waxing van window? Wear a dive knife out in the line up and start cutting leashes? How do we get this thing back to out grumpy selfs?
But wetsuits are too good now, I reek of piss if I don’t thoroughly rinse in the shorey and luke warm water bottle down. All for customer service.
This has made my Sunday morning! Even though there are no waves.
I used to surf at an island about 800m (1/2 mile) off the coast. It was a bit sharky, so boat was the preferred option. We used to head out in a small tinny (dinghy) with a 25hp motor. I’ve never been as close to murdering someone as the doctor who used to shoot out there in a 35′ motor cruiser, that had a heated water shower on the transom. Middle of winter and this guy is showering in steaming hot water instantly on exit from the water. Fuck that guy.
Ooooh. Character development!
Chas just writes all fancy to generate gifts. Who doesn’t think he is on the payroll of the WSL and sponsored by an SUP maker?
You are doin’ good Dr Jen …. bonne continuation .
I ended up here cause I liked the trees. The surf is as you say.
Good place to branch out from say 100 miles N or S.
Queen of the Coast ….
I should say something clever after 40 yrs there, and pretty much no where else. The Prince and Princess points around here are ok too, they just dont break very often, Rincon has something every day, even in summer….at least the sand beach, not the point.
Its 10 miles from my house, on the freeway, 10 minutes give or take…. so I had to commute. Commuter surfer.
Oh, at 4: 00 am once I hit 94 mph in my truck to be the first out. Highway Patrol is usually not on duty just then.
That was my thing, first out, then after work, last one in.
Really hard to do nowadays, roads and traffic, it can take 40 minutes or more from SB.
Enjoy the ride SB
Surfline Man selects his mode of “surf craft (or craft)” with care.
Part 2: Surfline Man meets Hurley Man. Hijinks ensue. A forbidden love is born.
SURFLINE MAN ! I AM TALKING TO YOU !
DEVO ( not Devon ) was RIGHT …… USE YOUR FREEDOM FROM CHOICE !
https://youtu.be/dVGINIsLnqU
The suspense is palpable…
https://youtu.be/wlwnbcxBuzI
I’m just glad Jen had time to write this for us inbetween reading Mens Journal articles.
What the fuck is a rinse kit? Some sort of Hurley branded douche??
Wait til you buy a Hurluley brand Mince Kit. It’ll change your life!
Do I get those on SurfStitch?
Is Chas’ midlength turquoise?
Any surfperson with a beard should definitely not get any set waves.
With the exception of the Avoca Jesus …..
And, ahem, Lemon. I’ve heard he’s cool.
Anyone 6 foot 4 or over …. naturally …. the big don’t argue .
I ripped the resin-tinted bottom off my midlength (is a 6’ 9” a ML?) to get rid of a huge channel. I may yet saw off the fat sides to slim its upper half down. Fuck all that noise.
Going out tomorrow. Tom will tell y’all how fucking kooky I am.
Bigger board the better if you havent surfed in ages? Pics of it
Too identifying in this modern age of autonomous drone killer zucchini.
It is in fact a near-turquoise colour. (Fist-pump)
I was hope it would look like a bake bean and be mission brown with yellow pin stripes … just kidding
Was watching an inter club yesterday and a big Bondi bloke Beau ( real big ) was riding a disc like quad called the Bull Shark and was absolutely killing it , except for the pink hat ?
Let volume be your friend ….
Don’t spare the details please.
Full report on my desk by morning, stat!
May your communion with the ocean be fruitful brother bottom .
Plot twist: dave lee scales is Surfline Man!