"Rub it in daddy!"
Whenever I hear the latest despatch about the surfer-turned-adult-content-queen Ellie-Jean Coffey it’s very hard not to hear the Commodores tune, Three Times a Lady, ringing away.
For this is a woman who has run her own unique race, from pro surfing to sexy videos, and all rimmed with the thirty year old’s trademark elegance and timeless style.
So successful was her pivot to a ten-dollars-a-month subscriber-only website that promised “uncensored content, private chat and more” a group of Ellie-Jean Coffey fans set up a Discord group where funds could be pooled to buy her latest video.
Recently, Indian fans, who, it might be guessed, form a sizeable portion of Ellie-Jean Coffey’s fanbase, turned on the curvy beauty after a lighthearted video she posted online was misconstrued as an act of desecration at a revered site in India — a country she has never visited.
In the footage, Coffey is seen squatting on the side of a small vessel with a crocodile gliding perilously close by.
The video quickly spiralled into an international furour.
Two things: it was a piss.
And it was in West Oz.
Earlier today, in an interview with Australian radio hosts Fat Kyle and Sorta Sexy Jackie O, and speaking from Western Australia’s outback, Ellie-Jean Coffey described the scenario as being like a bad episode of the Australian Young Adult television show Home and Away.
“Essentially, I was an Australian woman who was apparently an American woman who was going to be deported to America for a crime that never happpened. It was like a bad Home and Away plotline.”
Fat Kyle, who describes Ellie-Jean Coffey as the “crocodile pisser” reflected on the insanity of the crowd.
Ellie-Jean Coffey agreed adding, “I know. At one point, so many people were tagging the governor of India to have me deported. I’ve never stepped foot in India.”
This is a red herring, of course, for as any Indophile will point out there is no single “Governor of India.”
India is a federal republic with a President as the head of state although it is the prime minister who wields the real power, the president being a ceremonial role similar to the Governor-General in Australia.
The polarising but very strong Narendra Modi is the PM, if you were wondering.
What’s your favourite Ellie-Jean Coffey story?
So many to choose!
You’ll also remember EJ’s twenty-two-year-old sis Holly-Daze debuting her own XXX site, her offerings including, “Bare pussy and topless”, “nipples poking through my top as I get into messy sucking” and “Close up on my (cat emoji) and (peach emoji) completely topless (purple devil emoji), rub it in daddy.”
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where do they get the inspiration for such illicit sales captions,
Not even with Dez’s gear would I spelunk that cave.
Oh yes you would for you would hear a woman gasp for the first time!
You smell that bad do you?
I can hear it now; EJC: “Is that a doodoo on your weewee?”
For all the hype i thought she would be hotter . I guess being willing to flash the gash and do some tricks makes up for it
The Ganges is India’s holiest river. It’s so clogged with garbage and rotting human corpses thrown into it, by Indians, that at any point along its banks you can just about walk straight across.
If the wrongly accused Coffey had actually shat there, probably would have made it incrementally cleaner. Hypocrites.
Wow she’s less hot now, or just bad photos.
Do Australians join in this “No Kings” bullshit or do you have a progressive government that everyone’s happy with? Lmk Cunts!🤠🇺🇸
Using an ‘article’ as guise for increasing your SEO. LMFAO, you guys will stoop to the lowest of lows for clicks and I am here for it!
Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.
Did she set up a GoFuckMe?
I bet he does there make up.
I’m here for the misdirected rage of hypocritical Indians.
Too old to even consider young Coffee hypothetically.
Our whole gov is shut down overhere precisely because Trump never had the correct human realization of your 2nd sentence. Lots of others will eventually be on that sinking ship with him. Thankfully.
Gullible
Young Republicans: https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
The bald-face lying that every single GOP creature does is utterly insane.
It’s always been bad but now it’s the air they breathe.
Men of culture, we are!
Or, you may start to unconsciously develop a boner next time you have an alone sesh with the coffee bro. Its a two sided coin.
The fat bitch shouldn’t have been snapping in any water ways up North, she should have been like every other filthy backpacker / rich 20 something east coast insta 2oo thousand dollar land cruiser set up fuckwit and snapped on a bush walk trail.
Peak DR
By no means does my upvote condone DR’s momentary peak’ness.. As always here for the comments..
DR: “Oh, wait, EJC is blowing up! My past skills as editor of a porn mag can be dusted off. Oh wait, even better: it deals with pissing, and political stupidity based on misinformation! This will carry BG through the next 5 days!”
7 if Joel Tudor weighs in
Easy, brother, expand on my political stupidity.
Not yours! Those of humans, broadly, about which you eloquently weave in as layers in your missives. I reckon you’d be a pain to debate, actually, on a stage. Too well read, probably keep your emotions in check.
The decline of Western Civilization did not require Penelope to film the Masque
It was waiting for the invention of the cell phone.
How much did the crocodile pay for the Golden Shower of warm urine from Ellie Jean Coffey?
Asking for a friend –
“Friend” bahahahaha
You can be honest with us, JSC. We know your sexchat name with her is “Crocodile.” I’m guessing you paid her $50? Or just did a trade for 3 of your new “books?”