Here’s Why You Should Learn To Foil At Crowded Beaches - Heck What the Haters Say!
We exist in a time of unprecedented change. It might sound cliché, but it is not. Genuine, honest-to-god paradigms are shifting.
The Inertia’s Role in Today’s Surf Culture
As discussed on the popular surf website The Inertia, we exist in a time of unprecedented change.
This shift has been echoed by various platforms, including The Inertia, highlighting the importance of authenticity in this evolving landscape.
Meanwhile, AI has reached the point where it has us questioning what’s real and what’s not. Exponential gains in content production and proficiency mean any face can be copied and transplanted. Any voice imitated. I’ve even had to double-check a few backflip surf clips to confirm they weren’t deepfakes of some digital Joel Vaughan clone.
(Seriously but, how messed up was this )
The mental dissonance it creates is unsettling. Not being able to trust your own instincts, even with something you hold so close to your heart. Thoughts bounce around in your head. Like a mirror reflecting back on itself, over and over, until you want to smash it. Where will it stop?
With all this noise, all this slop, this technological fog, it can be profoundly assuring to know there are still a few constants left. Chief among them: The Inertia pumping out the most inane, asinine content ever conceived.
Yet these brave The Inertia scribes, with names like Cliff Ridge and Cater Jensen and Acacia Moonbark, continue to earnestly grind out the type of articles that would be perfect parody if they weren’t meant to be taken seriously.
It’s like the Grit, but without the crucial self-awareness. That knowing wink to the reader that says, “Yes, we know this is stupid.”
Still, I’m here for it. Reading The Inertia is like a warm hug from a particularly dull aunt. And in a world dissolving into chaos, sometimes that’s all the assurance we need.
So in the spirit of not being able to tell real from fake, here’s a selection of real Inertia Headlines mixed in with a bunch what I made up myself. Can you tell the difference?
(As per previous instalment, inconsistent capitalisation not the fault of the author)
- This Classic Puffer Jacket Still Wows Us: Patagonia Down Sweater Review
- Why This Eco-Inspired Towel Hoody Changed The Way I Look At Post Surf Rub Downs
- We Rate The Carbon Footprint Of The Top 7 Technical Climbing Pants
- 8 Easy Steps To Get Your Forehand Hook Looking Like Jon Jon’s
- Learn The Basics Of Getting Barrelled In 3 Minutes
- Kai Lenny Having A Blast On A Longboard With A Parawing
- These Are The Top 5 GoPro Moments With Kai and Ridge Lenny
- Kai Lenny Surfed Niagara Falls On An E-Foil And We Are Totally Here For It
- A New Study Claims to Identify Biggest Wave Ever Surfed
- Exploring Isopure: Diving Deep Into Protein Performance
- How To Incorporate Isopure Into Your Daily Routine
- Why Isopure Is Probably The Reason Your Parents Abandoned You
- Here’s Why You Should Never Drink From A Plastic Bottle Left In The Sun
- Here’s Why You Should Learn To Foil At Crowded Beaches – Heck What the Haters Say!
- How To Make An Island-Inspired Acai Bowl With Earthy Andy
- How To Make Coco Ho’s Loco Coco Spicy Fro-Yo At Home, Yo
- Seal Jumps Into Photographer’s Boat To Escape Orca Hunt
- This Orca Pod’s Morning Routine Is Revolutionising Our Understanding Of Skin Care
- Santa Cruz Surfers Raise $50,000 On Shark Tank for New Surf Helmet
- Baby Seals Tied Together With Cargo Net Rescued In Namibia
- The ‘Jaws’ Effect: Proof That Music Changes Our Perception Of Great White Sharks
- The Classic WaveStorm May Be The Key to Reconnecting with the Fun of Surfing
- Four Fins Or Five: Understanding Hydrodynamics And How Your Fin Set Up Is Contributing To Climate Change
Actual Inertia Articles: 1, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22
Ones What I Made up: 2, 3, 4, 8, 12, 14, 16, 18, 23
Very well done Surf Ads
Excellent scores
Might have to reassess the shit you sling at others after this one.
My glass house is full of stones
This is going to be an unpopular take around here but their Home Town Hype series is actually pretty good. I haven’t been to their website in years but in fairness to them they are producing some quality content!
Yeah there’s quite a few good writers there now too. But every now and then a headline or two pop up that are too good to walk past
there was a clown learning to electric foil IN the inside lineup at Manu Bay yesterday.
The idea that someone , somewhere is reading anything you write without cynicism makes me want to vomit.
So you suffered from too much inertia and didn’t finish it? I reckon their target audience is the surfer equivalent of soccer moms. A touch more along the path of accepting the midlife crisis reality than a Patagonia shopper.
Dammit Ads!
I was really looking forward to reading that Orca skin care routine article!
Is the Inertia still going?
Bigger than WSL and Surfline combined!
Don’t tell me I backed the wrong horse. Again.
scraping noise.
Like a bulk carrier coming into the pier a little too hot ?
You a MTG type of guy? All sorts of crazy over here lately…
Seems tactical.
Senate run.
Lost me at the.
Scan a few pages,roll them up and stick em up your bunghole. The full inertia experience
A fiercely underrated pleasure. God didn’t deliver man a prostate for nothin.
Scanning paper..a little waxy which would help
Gods gift to gay
well done, ads ! Indistinguishable.
I see a future in surf journalism for you.
The kid has talent